Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

2019/02/162019/02/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Next time you have a funeral, you should hire a better DJ. Also, the cheese dip tasted a little funky, like a 1970s disco hit, and I like my queso smoother, like love songs from the 80s.

2019/02/162019/02/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once made a muffin, but that was years ago. I suppose it’s about time to discount it and put it ON SALE. I would do a Buy One, Get One FREE, but I only made one. So I suppose I’ll offer it at Buy Half, Get Half FREE! (Limit one half per one whole customer.)

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Kind Art Zoo Jar just invented lollipop-flavored pants. Taste before you buy! The crotch area has the most yum per square inch.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My heart is shaped like a strawberry, and when it’s full of your lemonade-flavored love it’s probably something that Branson tourists would pay $19.95 to sip on in the hot summer. I’m hoping you’ll supply me with FREE refills.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It takes money to make money. These days, if you want to be a trillionaire, it’ll cost you $166 US dollars on eBay. That’s what it takes to buy a 100 trillion dollar Zimbabwe bank note.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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We only have a finite amount of laughter in our lungs, and when we use it up, that’s it, we’re all Hillary Clinton supporters. But don’t be afraid. That’s why I’m now selling raw packets of laughter, all organic and ethically grown, for ONLY $19.95!

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #sponsored #ad is brought to you by #KindArtZooJar. It’s the only Fashion House made entirely of cards, and that’s why they have all the deals.

2019/02/122019/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #sponsored #ad is brought to you by Kind Art Zoo Jar. Why pay more for less, when you could pay less for less?

2019/02/122019/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-24

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

Like this:

Next time you have a funeral, you should hire a better DJ. Also, the cheese dip tasted a little funky, like a 1970s disco hit, and I like my queso smoother, like love songs from the 80s.

Like this:

I once made a muffin, but that was years ago. I suppose it’s about time to discount it and put it ON SALE. I would do a Buy One, Get One FREE, but I only made one. So I suppose I’ll offer it at Buy Half, Get Half FREE! (Limit one half per one whole customer.)

Like this:

Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

Like this:

Kind Art Zoo Jar just invented lollipop-flavored pants. Taste before you buy! The crotch area has the most yum per square inch.

Like this:

My heart is shaped like a strawberry, and when it’s full of your lemonade-flavored love it’s probably something that Branson tourists would pay $19.95 to sip on in the hot summer. I’m hoping you’ll supply me with FREE refills.

Like this:

It takes money to make money. These days, if you want to be a trillionaire, it’ll cost you $166 US dollars on eBay. That’s what it takes to buy a 100 trillion dollar Zimbabwe bank note.

Like this:

We only have a finite amount of laughter in our lungs, and when we use it up, that’s it, we’re all Hillary Clinton supporters. But don’t be afraid. That’s why I’m now selling raw packets of laughter, all organic and ethically grown, for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

This #sponsored #ad is brought to you by #KindArtZooJar. It’s the only Fashion House made entirely of cards, and that’s why they have all the deals.

Like this:

This #sponsored #ad is brought to you by Kind Art Zoo Jar. Why pay more for less, when you could pay less for less?

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