If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.

2020/12/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Yesterday someone asked who the biggest cowards in history are, and that answer is easy: Modern American Conservatives. Charlie Kirk may have been born with a penis, but through Israel’s financial influence he has morphed into an absolute pussy.

2020/12/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Some men fish, some men talk about fishing, and some men talk about some men talking about fishing. My question to you is simple. What kind of fish are you?

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Are you awake, or are your eyes merely open as you sleepwalking through life? Here’s a test. My definition of politics is a group of shapeshifting reptilians selecting another reptilian, while humans are made to believe they’ve elected one of two humans. Do you agree?

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

This meme is not actually sponsored at this time, but I did repeatedly leave messages for Tupperware’s billing department. My fee is reasonable, and my offer will stay fresh in the fridge just like leftover meatloaf.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

During a famine, the farmer is wealthier than the money hoarder. Why? Because you can’t eat gold. Well, not unless you first convert it to Mfzt, monoatomic gold, but then how do you know the white powder you’re eating isn’t cocaine?

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The great philosopher Alfred Pennyworth gave us his penny’s worth of thoughts when he said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” That’s true, and other men just want to laugh and sell marshmallows on sticks. Buy 12, get the 13th FREE.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

People who say I can’t do something are wrong. I can do it. I just don’t want to do it. Or I’ll get around to doing it after they’ve already gotten someone else to do it. But that kind of customer service usually costs extra, and that’s why you shop BearPaw Duck Farm.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

People always say to me, “Jarod, do you wear a cloud for a wig?” The answer is no, my hair is naturally hovering water vapor, and if your farm is in a drought, you can pay me to come stand in your field and water your crops with my stormy mane.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.

Like this:

Yesterday someone asked who the biggest cowards in history are, and that answer is easy: Modern American Conservatives. Charlie Kirk may have been born with a penis, but through Israel’s financial influence he has morphed into an absolute pussy.

Like this:

I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Like this:

Some men fish, some men talk about fishing, and some men talk about some men talking about fishing. My question to you is simple. What kind of fish are you?

Like this:

Are you awake, or are your eyes merely open as you sleepwalking through life? Here’s a test. My definition of politics is a group of shapeshifting reptilians selecting another reptilian, while humans are made to believe they’ve elected one of two humans. Do you agree?

Like this:

During a famine, the farmer is wealthier than the money hoarder. Why? Because you can’t eat gold. Well, not unless you first convert it to Mfzt, monoatomic gold, but then how do you know the white powder you’re eating isn’t cocaine?

Like this:

The great philosopher Alfred Pennyworth gave us his penny’s worth of thoughts when he said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” That’s true, and other men just want to laugh and sell marshmallows on sticks. Buy 12, get the 13th FREE.

Like this:

People who say I can’t do something are wrong. I can do it. I just don’t want to do it. Or I’ll get around to doing it after they’ve already gotten someone else to do it. But that kind of customer service usually costs extra, and that’s why you shop BearPaw Duck Farm.

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