The best part about taking a two-week vacation in Branson is you’ll spend 12 of the 14 days stuck behind one Buick from Kansas driving as fast as a push lawnmower.
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George Bush is The Artful Dodger, escaping justice while learning how to be Rembrand. I’d like to use George Bush’s head as a paintbrush, after he’s publicly executed via guillotine for Crimes Against Humanity.
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If Branson’s tourism strategy is to attract the fattest, oldest, dumbest, and cheapest visitors, then I’d say they are executing flawlessly. Too bad repeat business is a problem due to poverty and death in that particular demographic.
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This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.
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If you want to watch me perform, I’ll be at The Blue Green Turquoise Lounge. Ask for Denise. You’ll know she’s Denise because her nametag will say “Susan,” and she’ll be wearing a yellow leather sofa and a coffee table with FREE refills.
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What’s the best way to dispose of children’s bodies that were snatched from their parents, raped, tortured, harvested for their adrenochrome, and finally sacrificed to Moloch? You grind up their bodies and sell them back to their parents disguised as McDonald’s hamburger patties.
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The key to riding a horse is making the horse think it’s in control, and you do that by giving it an Academy Award for Erin Brockovich.
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The Talmud is the most evil book ever written, and you could burn it, but it was forged in hell so fire is its companion element.
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I feel like I’m running a marathon on a treadmill, so while I’m covering an incredible distance, I’m also not going anywhere.
