If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
Do you enjoy being out in nature? By 2030, when you’re living in your 20 by 30 cement stacked box in the city, you’ll probably be able to rent walks in the park for ONLY $19.95 per month.
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I’m hoping that makes duck farmers the second sexiest. I suppose I’ll have to fight guys who raise chickens for the runner-up title.
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The wars are all fraudulent, but I always thank every soldier for their service, because the military cross promotes with The NFL, and God made beer just for Americans, so if you don’t VOTE you are a Communist and a Nazi and you probably don’t let your wife make love to strange men while you watch.
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If you work for a multinational corporation that goes Full Rainbow in June, I’m an advocate for quiet quitting. In fact, that’s not enough. You need to be actively subversive at work.
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The NFL product is so good it belongs in a can. It would be like Campbell’s vegetable soup, only chunkier.
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I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.
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FREEDOM isn’t something you earn by VOTING. The real power is controlled by The Central Bankers, and they continue to wage war on The People, while The People get increasingly poorer without ever questioning the root cause.
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Pickleball is rising in popularity, and may soon be America’s favorite sport. But come on, nothing will ever replace making fun of Boomers.
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Well, what are you waiting for? Grab a shovel and start digging your way out of the hole you’ve worked yourself into.
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