Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?
Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
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The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.
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It’s like my good friend Elon Musk said, “If you don’t shop at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, you’ll wish you were born as a hologram, because I’m going to Mars to be with other beings of light, so go buy a Tesla and starve.”
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BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm now offers FREE refills on T-shirts. Buy one shirt, and fill it as many times as you’d like.
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Look up BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm. We’re in The Phone Book. I know, because I actually found a copy and scribbled our contact information inside. Business is about to go the way of NASA’s 1986 Challenger rocket.
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I have three ducks FOR SALE. They are named Steve, Martin, and Steve Martin. When you buy Steve and Martin, you get Steve Martin for FREE. (Steve Martin sold separately.)
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There are only two things in this world that make me cry: The heroism displayed by Congress on January 6th, 2021—and chopping up onions. It just so happens that BOTH are used in BearPaw Duck Farm’s NEW SwimmingBird Soup recipe.
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You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.
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No live bats are injured in the making of my Duck Soup. To mimic the flavor of FlyingMouse, I use black powdered CaveBird of the variety that used to be shoved inside of muskets to make them fire.
