After trying out hours and hours of original material, I can assure you that cats hate knock-knock jokes. To them, knocking is no joke, because if you’ve got knickknacks on a shelf, they’ll seriously knock them all off.
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Today is the one that introduces Yesterday to Tomorrow. If it weren’t for Today, Nostalgia would never meet Hope.
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Just as Austin makes Texas even cooler, Austin makes Branson even cooler. The first is a city, and the second is the owner of Expresso Branson.
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At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.
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I’m a modest guy. In fact, in the history of the world, there’s never been anybody more modest than me. I am The World’s Most Modest Man. My modesty is so legendary that I’m thinking of buying myself a custom-made trophy to celebrate and memorialize it.
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My favorite part of The Art of War are all the commas. I mean, I guess that’s my favorite part, because I had my pet monkey read the book for me and summarize it using banana analogies.
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Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.
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To do nothing is to do something. Sometimes that’s a wise strategy, like when playing hide-and-go-seek while trying to act invisible so nobody sees you. But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do when it comes to marketing.
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I know a thing or thirteen about making soap. But so what? Am I the World’s Greatest Soap Maker? Actually, YES! And I have the trophy to prove it. It only cost me $19.95 from The Trophy Store.
