What reason could you possibly have for not buying this GIF? You might say, “Because it’s worthless.” And to that I’d reply, “So are fiat currencies, including The Dollar.” Sounds like an even trade to me.

2019/02/202019/02/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m now selling Modern Dance Moves in four sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and I’ve Gotta Pee. The latter also describes the exotic motion.

2019/02/202019/02/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-41

On a One To Hype Scale, my NEW dance moves are 100% pure Boston Tea Party. That is to say they’re revolutionary! You watch, they’ll soon get digitized into Fortnite.

2019/02/202019/02/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-39

2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Microwavable Frozen Juice is The Drink of The Future! Trust me, I’ve been there. Either that or my watch is just five minutes fast. Either way, my 32-degree drink is ON SALE for just the next 300 seconds. Get it BEFORE the past catches up to this HOT new beverage!

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-37

To effectively communicate, it’s important to use words you know will be understood, and to speak in a falsetto voice, with matching jiggly body language and giggles interjected, to show that you are serious.

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-36

Not only do I sell Cheeseburger Milkshakes, but I also sell oven mitts shaped like boxing gloves, so you can more stylishly fight forest fires. You just might wish you had a pair the next time a forest fire comes knocking on your door, after avoiding trees and shrubs and grass.

2019/02/172019/02/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-35

These days, relevant Fashion Houses are mostly influenced by Meme Culture, but Kind Art Zoo Jar’s main influence is the migratory patterns of populations based on varying tax rates. The fact that he’ll put you to sleep is what makes him so woke!

2019/02/172019/02/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

2019/02/162019/02/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-33

What reason could you possibly have for not buying this GIF? You might say, “Because it’s worthless.” And to that I’d reply, “So are fiat currencies, including The Dollar.” Sounds like an even trade to me.

Like this:

I’m now selling Modern Dance Moves in four sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and I’ve Gotta Pee. The latter also describes the exotic motion.

Like this:

On a One To Hype Scale, my NEW dance moves are 100% pure Boston Tea Party. That is to say they’re revolutionary! You watch, they’ll soon get digitized into Fortnite.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

Like this:

2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

Like this:

Microwavable Frozen Juice is The Drink of The Future! Trust me, I’ve been there. Either that or my watch is just five minutes fast. Either way, my 32-degree drink is ON SALE for just the next 300 seconds. Get it BEFORE the past catches up to this HOT new beverage!

Like this:

To effectively communicate, it’s important to use words you know will be understood, and to speak in a falsetto voice, with matching jiggly body language and giggles interjected, to show that you are serious.

Like this:

Not only do I sell Cheeseburger Milkshakes, but I also sell oven mitts shaped like boxing gloves, so you can more stylishly fight forest fires. You just might wish you had a pair the next time a forest fire comes knocking on your door, after avoiding trees and shrubs and grass.

Like this:

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

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