Ever wake up in a fog, and you don’t know if you’re in reality or you’re still dreaming? Well, when you open your eyes in The Ozarks, you are BOTH awake and in a dream.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No matter what time it is, it’s always now. That makes it the perfect time to love. But what is the perfect place to love? That’s easy—BearPaw Duck Farm.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If our ducks have to spend from sunset to sunrise cooped up, we want to make sure they are having the most fun, which means maximizing their exposure to critters that they can chase and eat.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I could get fined for digging and cutting into a fiber optic cable, then you’d think The State would leave some proof beyond spray painting OK on the ground in orange. The Government is known for paperwork, but all they leave behind is graffiti? Sounds anarchistic.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Ask me about my Tuesday Special. Or don’t, because I’ll just tell you. My SALE runs from Wednesday to Monday, which makes Tuesday special because you pay FULL PRICE!

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Clowns are to be taken more seriously than mainstream news. But clowns are not to be taken. Put them back or pay for them—or ask the person you took them from to pay for them in a large quantity of small, unmarked bills stacked in a briefcase and left in a prearranged location.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Ever wake up in a fog, and you don’t know if you’re in reality or you’re still dreaming? Well, when you open your eyes in The Ozarks, you are BOTH awake and in a dream.

Like this:

No matter what time it is, it’s always now. That makes it the perfect time to love. But what is the perfect place to love? That’s easy—BearPaw Duck Farm.

Like this:

If our ducks have to spend from sunset to sunrise cooped up, we want to make sure they are having the most fun, which means maximizing their exposure to critters that they can chase and eat.

Like this:

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

Like this:

If I could get fined for digging and cutting into a fiber optic cable, then you’d think The State would leave some proof beyond spray painting OK on the ground in orange. The Government is known for paperwork, but all they leave behind is graffiti? Sounds anarchistic.

Like this:

Ask me about my Tuesday Special. Or don’t, because I’ll just tell you. My SALE runs from Wednesday to Monday, which makes Tuesday special because you pay FULL PRICE!

Like this:

Clowns are to be taken more seriously than mainstream news. But clowns are not to be taken. Put them back or pay for them—or ask the person you took them from to pay for them in a large quantity of small, unmarked bills stacked in a briefcase and left in a prearranged location.

Like this:

Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

Like this:

I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

Like this:

I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.

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