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Neighbor’s Mill also makes cake that’s music to my mouth, in the same way that Cake makes music that’s pastry to my ears. Taste the sound for yourself!

2021/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.

2021/03/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Skate Mania is now known as a skating rink, but I call it what it one day could be: A GIF Factory. The Three Stooges made a career out of falling down, and little kids and addled adults pay money to provide Skate Mania with that kind of hilarious content.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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That’s not Johnny Cash in a wig. That’s Johnny CreditCard. It’s like Johnny Cash, only it self-identifies as a woman, and it likes to shop and spend fake money it doesn’t have.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you’re selling baked beans as cereal, I hope you have another source of income. Maybe you could make money from businesses that make money, like The Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber of Commerce is the baked beans as cereal of business, in that it’s a complete joke.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Despite his last name, I’ll bet Johnny Cash never had an inflated ego, or needed a wheelbarrow full of his last name to go shopping. Speaking of devalued currency, you should spend yours before The Federal Reserve completely destroys ours.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.
  • Your eyes have to be glazed over with stupidity to think that one FREE glazed donut per day from Krispy Kreme is some kind of valuable reward for letting yourself be injected with fluid that makes viper poison look wholesome.
  • At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?
  • As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.
  • My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.
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