If I had $200,000 in unshakeable student loan debt from Law School, and couldn’t find a high-paying job in the legal profession, this is what I would do:

Congrats on graduating from Law School!

Maybe you passed the Bar Exam, and maybe you didn’t, but either way you’re finding out that finding a job in the legal profession is harder than a rock.

The sad part is I voted for that rock, and it turned out to look smarter than it actually was, and it didn’t do any of the things it promised on the campaign trail—particularly on the economic front.

These days it seems like whatever jobs aren’t outsourced to other countries for cheaper labor are being taken by robots who not only work longer and more efficiently, they happen to have more personality than many people in the hospitality industry—which is where I myself ended up after failing to find a job in my chosen career after college.

Maybe you have it better than I did.

Maybe you’re a bartender—like you were before Law School, and all throughout—and you are stressing over how to pay down your massive student loan debt when you barely make enough money to merely survive.

Maybe you have put your life on hold, not feeling like you are in a position to get married—or even go on a single date, since your financial situation is so dire.

You wonder if you made the right decision going into all that debt for a piece of paper that no longer functions as a key to a better life.

That’s for you to decide. I’m only here to offer a bit of hope, in the form of an idea, a possible path for you to take, one that I’m in no way telling you to take, because I am not a financial advisor, but this is just some brain steak for you to chew on.

This is my thinking as far as debt and economic opportunities.

I’ll use myself as an example.

I have a large amount of debt, and the job opportunities for what I got my degree in are limited—and that’s an understatement.

So, what action am I taking to rectify my bleak situation?

Well, I know our economic system is built on fiat currency in a frautulent financial structure that can be collapsed at any moment by the elites.

So I know any dollar I earn is not a store of value, and I must get rid of it as fast as I can and try to convert it into an investment with leverage that will act as a seesaw, so that when the dollar crashes, whatever I traded my dollars for will rise as a result.

Enter cryptocurrencies.

I believe we are moving into a world ruled by blockchain technology, of which cryptocurreincies are built on top of.

There are literally hundreds and hundreds of cryptocurrencies.

Some offer function, and some are more like decoration—looking pretty but doing no work. Reminds me of a woman I used to date.

What you have to consider is this: Does the coin or token you want to buy have utility, a real application, or is it icing with no cake?

Some of these cryptocurrencies will rise drastically and dramatically. Clif High, for example, predicts that Litecoin will be worth 1/4th that of Bitcoin, and others predict Bitcoin will go to one million dollars per coin. Butcoin can be bought for under $6,000 dollars today, and Litecoin can be purchased for under $60 dollars this instant, if that gives you an indicator of the kind of profit that can be reaped from trading your worthless fiat currency for cryptocurrency.

Now, will all cryptocurrencies yield succulent fruit? Most assuredly not.

That’s why you must get educated on the subject before investing even one precious dollar that you barely have into any coin or token, and all financial strategies should be taken with a grain of assault—because some financial advisors are out to make you bleed, so they can then also sell you a Band-Aid.

But I am not a financial advisor, and this is not advice. This is just observations about the state of decay our society is in, and recognizing that the petrodollar is dying, and a new medium of exchange is rising up.

So, will you be in a position to profit from it?

But before you buy money, you must pay for your own financial education.

Buy a book. Buy a library. Knowledge is a better investment than gold—even digital gold, like Bitcoin.

Here’s a good place to start:

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If you act now, my Dance Lessons are ON SALE. When you buy them you get FREE refills for life. (There is a slight upcharge for ice.)

In this economic collapse, if there is a job opening, 1,000 people apply to it—and it eventually goes to a robot. A kiosk stole my career.

But is my resentment towards @McDonalds growing? No, because I’m growing out a mullet and making a positive change in my personal image.

Maybe you aren’t as fashionable as me, or don’t want the 24/7 #LustFactor that comes with a mullet. Well, have you considered a #FakeMullet?

Wearing a headband with a fake mullet attached just might be the edge you need to separate yourself form your peers during your next job interview.

And then if you’re ready to bring romance back into your life, you can sign up for my Move To Music Like A Wet Puddle Dance Class.

Oh yes, I dance like a wet puddle, because what other kind of puddles are there? Certainly not a dry one. Duh! Don’t be absurd and sign up today!

But in the meantime, buy this AWESOME #FakeMullet:


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9/10 dentists recommend my toothpaste. Now available in a Brand New Flavor: Extra Squishy Pink Slime! (Tastes just like a McDonald’s hamburger.)

You never learn more about customer service than you do when you’re in the trenches of a Great War.

There I was, in WWI, being attacked on all sides by the Vietnamese jungle, when I found myself out of Adult Diapers.

With my Portable Vending Machine out of commission, due to its wheelbarrow’s tire having been shot off by IRS agents, I was in desperate need of assistance.

That’s when I saw him. He floated down from the clouds like a bronzed statue of Beyonce, wearing golden roller skates and a nametag that said, “Kevin.”

I noticed Kevin was carrying a scroll, and without reading it I knew its contents. This was The Lost Secrets of Customer Service, rumored to have burnt up with the Library of Alexandria.

That’s when a #TruthBomb exploded next to me, leaving me disoriented and discombobulated.

As if by osmosis, I was absorbing all The Archaic Wisdom of The Sages Throughout The Ages.

I felt empowered, as if I could hop directly from being a fry cook at McDonald’s all the way up to cashier, maybe even surpassing the friendliness and performance of The Kiosks, who make great friends, but poor co-workers, both because they stole all the glory that should have been mine and because they don’t get paid for the work that they do.

No longer would Dennis, my 16-year-old boss, treat me like I was some sort of needy infant, always demanding money in exchange for labor. Now Dennis would see my True Value, and would reward me accordingly. Soon I’d be richer than Solomon, and wiser too, armed with the knowledge obtained in this book.

I’m rating this book five stars, because Amazon caps the limit. But if I could, I’d rate it like Abraham’s seed, as it deserves to accumulate all the stars of heaven. This is a book for all generations, and the best time to buy it is yesterday. But you can’t, so I suppose RIGHT NOW is the silver medalist of perfect times to buy.


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Just Brilliant

I was honored by Mr. Volino to be given an advanced preview of his book, and to share my thoughts with him.

At the time I wrote, “I loved the satire and tone. Like Vonnegut meets John Kennedy Toole.” I know because my words are quoted on the back cover.

That is such a good feeling I had to try to share it with every person I know, and even many random people I don’t know.

But having read the book again, I’d like to revisit that sentiment a bit. While I am a big fan of both Vonnegut and Toole, I do believe Mr. Volino to be a superior writer, because he not only possesses a keen wit and sharp sense of humor, but he is keyed in on the ignition known as the economy. If that doesn’t start, everything else stops.

Like all masterful humor, this book lampoons truth and illuminates the mind in a way that a sincere geopolitical book never could.

Yes, Vonnegut and Toole both did shine a spotlight into societal issues, but nothing even approaching the profundity of Mr. Volino.


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#ThisIsTheBestCookingBookInTheWorldAndItDeservesItsOwnAbsurdlyLo ngHashtagAndReviewTitle

Jo Dance has the perfect last name, because she has the most graceful way of moving into my heart—through her use of cooking alchemy.

For a man who loves eating as much as me, I was surprised to discover meals require preparation, and they don’t just magically appear.

Full of pictures to salivate over and savory recipes that range from 10-20 on a 1-10 deliciousness scale, this book is for anyone who needs food to live.

What’s not to love about lime cheesecake, cheesy hearts, and smoky paprika thins? The answer, of course, is nothing. There’s nothing to not love—and everything to love about this book.


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This is both the title of my Amazon book review—and a tweet mentioning @robbyslaughter, the author of this five-star masterpiece

As an intergenerational being, I believe in the circular flow of four.

Spring, summer, fall, and winter form the seasons of nature, just as society spins through history in groups of four distinct generations, even if there is some Bigfoot-photo-type blurriness at the edges of the generational changeovers.

One thing is for sure—“the How-To Guide for Generations at Work” by @robbyslaughter will show you how to become as close to intergenerational as you can be without being born twice in one lifetime.

Abstractly speaking, you’ll learn how to work with the hows and the Howes, even if you are a why type of guy.

Incidentally, Neil Howe and William Strauss wrote “The Fourth Turning,” a book I read about a decade ago but can still remember as if was just ten years ago.

In it they first put forward the evidence that Anglo-American history repeats fluidly in sets of four, and the book had a profound impact on my life in that it was so thick that by the time I finally finished reading it I owed a massive late fee to the library.

I hope my local branch hasn’t attached an interest rate to that unpaid fine.

But seriously, that book was one of the best books I’ve ever read, and Robby’s book equals Howe and Strauss’ masterpiece as he brings their work into the dynamics of the office.

Robby presents fascinating insight into the various mindsets of generations in general, and presents a compelling case for what to do when X happens, and how and why Y happens, and who should do what where and why, based on how history has influenced each generation—and how each generation has influenced history.

Robby’s book is as clear as I am opaque, and as you read you might find yourself agreeing with every single perspective of the four generations currently in the workforce—and at that moment you will realize that you are also an intergenerational being.

Congratulations—and my condolences, because now you don’t have any excuse as to why you aren’t being productive at work.

You can’t blame your flaws on Geriatric Jerry anymore.

If there is work to be done, you have got to do it! Or maybe someone else has got to do it. There’s a chart and an argument for both!

But either way, work needs to get done, and the needs of everyone has got to be seen—and respected. By you.

So get busy getting busy—but first, buy Robby’s book!


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Karlyle Tomms is my new favorite author

Karlyle Tomms is my new favorite author. Well, behind God, who wrote The Bible. I also think God wrote The Notebook under the pseudonym of Nicholas Sparks, but that is neither here nor there nor in Pennsylvania, where this story takes place.

The story flows as smooth as water, and is as voluminous as Niagara Falls. Don’t try to drink it all in one gulp, lest you drown in its literary glory.

The main character’s name is Lovella, and how can you not love that? Her life struggle takes place in the 60s, a decade I don’t remember—not because I was stoned the whole time, but because I wasn’t born yet. So this period piece was a fascinating time travel experience for me.

Altogether a great read, and I highly recommend it.


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I feel like I was an important part of this book

I feel like I was an important part of this book. I feel like the spine, despite it being an ebook, and me being as spineless as a bowl of pudding. Grab a spoon and see for yourself.

In a blind taste test, nine out of ten Helen Kellers recommended this book. The tenth Helen Keller, well, she probably didn’t hear the question.

In a separate blindfold study, readers were asked to rate this book. All eight of the kidnap victims said this book is the most enjoyable part of their last six days in my basement, and all rated it five stars—without even needing to be tortured that much to produce the desired answers.


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I fell in love

I read this book in the bathroom, and the sex scenes were so steamy they fogged up my mirror. I know it wasn’t caused by my fog machine, because I unplugged that before I opened the book.


Of all the humor books written this year, this is the best one I’ve read. It’s also the only humor book I’ve read this year, so it’s got that exclusivity going for it.


I love this book like I love a brick and a blanket, which could be used to teach people the value of safe sex. Remember, if you’re going to have safe sex, try not to get locked inside the safe without anybody on the outside knowing the combination.

Here’s a letter I recently wrote to Dora J. Arod concerning Bauvard’s book. Let’s read what I had to say.

Dear Dora,

I recently fell in love with a book by Bauvard. Is it normal for a reader to want to have sex with an author’s words, but not the author that wrote them?

Sincerely,

Jarod Ora Kintz

Dear Jarod,

No, it is not normal. I think you are a pervert and you disgust me. If you were a fish, I’d recommend that you move to the desert and take up cave painting.

Insincerely, Dora J. Arod