The heart is a magical vessel, because the more love you pour out, the more love you have to pour out, and right now I’m offering FREE refills!

2019/09/042019/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Or perhaps your love has inspired my stone-heart to grow into a tree that’s full of green life.

2019/09/022019/09/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I could live anywhere, I’d live here, in this moment, with you.

2019/09/022019/09/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sometimes I stand outside in the summer breeze and close my eyes, imagining it’s your warm breath rushing over my skin, and in these moments I am clothed in Love, which never goes out of style.

2019/09/022019/09/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Which is better, Endless Shrimp or Leftover Meatloaf from the1980s? Well, in a blind taste test, Helen Keller chose the meatloaf. She was emphatic about her selection, because in her own words she said, “Azkgaaka grreghquua uaklapha!” That sounds like 100% Pure Love to me.

2019/09/012019/09/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a born salesman. In fact, I was born earlier than the doctor expected, so before my mom and I left the hospital I was able successfully haggle down the price of the whole process, getting it discounted by the amount of time I saved by appearing before my scheduled arrival.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I hate automatic doors, because they eliminate kindness from society. When I’m walking towards a door in step with a stranger, old or young, man, woman, or a nonbinary entity of uncertain origin, I jump ahead to hold the door open, and I smile as I say something charming to them.

2019/08/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

2019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

2019/08/282019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The heart is a magical vessel, because the more love you pour out, the more love you have to pour out, and right now I’m offering FREE refills!

Like this:

Or perhaps your love has inspired my stone-heart to grow into a tree that’s full of green life.

Like this:

If I could live anywhere, I’d live here, in this moment, with you.

Like this:

Sometimes I stand outside in the summer breeze and close my eyes, imagining it’s your warm breath rushing over my skin, and in these moments I am clothed in Love, which never goes out of style.

Like this:

Which is better, Endless Shrimp or Leftover Meatloaf from the1980s? Well, in a blind taste test, Helen Keller chose the meatloaf. She was emphatic about her selection, because in her own words she said, “Azkgaaka grreghquua uaklapha!” That sounds like 100% Pure Love to me.

Like this:

I’m a born salesman. In fact, I was born earlier than the doctor expected, so before my mom and I left the hospital I was able successfully haggle down the price of the whole process, getting it discounted by the amount of time I saved by appearing before my scheduled arrival.

Like this:

Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

Like this:

I hate automatic doors, because they eliminate kindness from society. When I’m walking towards a door in step with a stranger, old or young, man, woman, or a nonbinary entity of uncertain origin, I jump ahead to hold the door open, and I smile as I say something charming to them.

Like this:

The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

Like this:

My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

Like this:

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