Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.
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If I gave birth to myself, like some kind of hermaphroditic worm, would I be entitled to FREE food? This is an important issue that NO Presidential candidate has EVER mentioned.
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First Disneyland temporarily closed, and I wonder if next The Circus will be permanently shut down. Oh, it would be a shame if Branson abolished The Chamber of Commerce.
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Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.
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Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.
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Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that’s foolish, because I’m a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.
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Don’t let Coronavirus disrupt your supply chain. Drink hand sanitizer today!
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Laws are written, and laws are re-written. I can’t believe I still got a speeding ticket after explaining to the cop that where I’m from, the year 2244, the Speed Limit is 88 miles per hour, which is exactly how fast I was going when I passed by his radar gun.
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Some people sleepwalk, but I sleeprun. The other night I breezed through a whole marathon. Good thing I was wearing my Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next%s, because I was able to cover the distance in record time—without waking up my cat, who was curled up next to me the whole slumber.
