I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
Tag: writing
Do you enjoy being out in nature? By 2030, when you’re living in your 20 by 30 cement stacked box in the city, you’ll probably be able to rent walks in the park for ONLY $19.95 per month.
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Sometimes my kitchen sink doubles as a duck pond. Problem is, I can’t exactly move my diving board, so I have to relocate Greg Louganis Hour to another slot, like one on the toaster.
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If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
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If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
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Choose your words carefully, because you don’t want someone to misunderstand you inadvertently. Instead, be intentional with your miscommunication.
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Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.
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Did you know Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and mute? OK, but did you know she taught herself how to read and write using only Alphabet Soup?
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It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.
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I have a long-running joke about Roger Bannister. Well, not THAT long. It’s exactly a mile, but the joke is under four minutes.
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