Tag: writer
If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.
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I’m writing a history book. It’s about yesterday. It goes ON SALE tomorrow for $19.95, and it includes FREE Leftover Meatloaf from antiquity. Sources tell me it tastes like The French Revolution.
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I once planted a garden of love in my heart, of which the flowers looked like roses mixed with butterflies, and I’m sad my feelings for you evaporated, because I could easily sell bouquets of our romance for $19.95.
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Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
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I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.
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My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.
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As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.
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Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.
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My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).
