Did you know Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and mute? OK, but did you know she taught herself how to read and write using only Alphabet Soup?

2021/10/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

2021/01/022021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

No, I’m not calling YOUR book boring. YOUR book is amazing, and I can’t wait to start reading it. Is it available in video format?

2020/12/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

2019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

2019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.

2019/04/212019/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

2019/04/152019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: write

Did you know Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and mute? OK, but did you know she taught herself how to read and write using only Alphabet Soup?

Like this:

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

Like this:

No, I’m not calling YOUR book boring. YOUR book is amazing, and I can’t wait to start reading it. Is it available in video format?

Like this:

I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Like this:

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

Like this:

Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

Like this:

In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

Like this:

Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

Like this:

My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.

Like this:

As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

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