I like winning almost as much as I like not losing. That’s why I shop at The Trophy Store, because for ONLY $19.95, I can be the best at anything in the world—and I don’t even have to practice or compete.
Tag: wise
A plague of black vultures has arrived to consume death and to disperse the stench of rotting corpses, and Satan’s minions have decreed it illegal to kill them. This is just one early sign that America is now under God’s judgment.
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If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.
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Did you VOTE for this? Because I didn’t VOTE for this. But that’s because I didn’t VOTE. Maybe 2020 will be the year you finally wise up to the farce called VOTING.
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Lies come in all sorts of flavors, while The Truth is always vanilla. However, while you can get a lie in any flavor you’d like, it is always camouflaged poison.
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Think how great America would be if every sports bar were replaced with Dank Meme Barns, where patrons turn into workhorses making mockery of local politicians. Why shouldn’t exposing criminality be gamified and bolstered by an environment of camaraderie?
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The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.
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Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.
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The only voting I do is with my wallet. When I buy This, I’m voting against That and vice reversa. That’s the only real political power we have.
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A bootlicker would be so much wiser if he would simply hold his tongue. The tongue can be used in many foolish ways, like praising our oppressors, but the most foolish way to use your tongue is to be a bootlicker.
