If Tom Arnold were alive today, what would he say about what’s going on politically? I mean, technically Tom Arnold is still very much alive, but I’d get more insight by asking Tom and Arnold, my two new hires.

2020/12/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I like winning almost as much as I like not losing. That’s why I shop at The Trophy Store, because for ONLY $19.95, I can be the best at anything in the world—and I don’t even have to practice or compete.

2020/12/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A plague of black vultures has arrived to consume death and to disperse the stench of rotting corpses, and Satan’s minions have decreed it illegal to kill them. This is just one early sign that America is now under God’s judgment.

2020/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.

2020/12/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you VOTE for this? Because I didn’t VOTE for this. But that’s because I didn’t VOTE. Maybe 2020 will be the year you finally wise up to the farce called VOTING.

2020/09/282020/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Lies come in all sorts of flavors, while The Truth is always vanilla. However, while you can get a lie in any flavor you’d like, it is always camouflaged poison.

2020/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Think how great America would be if every sports bar were replaced with Dank Meme Barns, where patrons turn into workhorses making mockery of local politicians. Why shouldn’t exposing criminality be gamified and bolstered by an environment of camaraderie?

2020/09/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Numbers are fun. I just learned to count a month ago. That’s 13 days, right? Next month I’ll try to learn the alphabet so I can then take on Algebra.

2020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-16

Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-21

Tag: wisdom

If Tom Arnold were alive today, what would he say about what’s going on politically? I mean, technically Tom Arnold is still very much alive, but I’d get more insight by asking Tom and Arnold, my two new hires.

Like this:

I like winning almost as much as I like not losing. That’s why I shop at The Trophy Store, because for ONLY $19.95, I can be the best at anything in the world—and I don’t even have to practice or compete.

Like this:

A plague of black vultures has arrived to consume death and to disperse the stench of rotting corpses, and Satan’s minions have decreed it illegal to kill them. This is just one early sign that America is now under God’s judgment.

Like this:

If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.

Like this:

Did you VOTE for this? Because I didn’t VOTE for this. But that’s because I didn’t VOTE. Maybe 2020 will be the year you finally wise up to the farce called VOTING.

Like this:

Lies come in all sorts of flavors, while The Truth is always vanilla. However, while you can get a lie in any flavor you’d like, it is always camouflaged poison.

Like this:

Think how great America would be if every sports bar were replaced with Dank Meme Barns, where patrons turn into workhorses making mockery of local politicians. Why shouldn’t exposing criminality be gamified and bolstered by an environment of camaraderie?

Like this:

The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

Like this:

Numbers are fun. I just learned to count a month ago. That’s 13 days, right? Next month I’ll try to learn the alphabet so I can then take on Algebra.

Like this:

Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

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