You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

2021/06/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

There is a party tomorrow night. You should go. Oh, by the way, you’re not invited. Neither am I. That’s why you should tell me how it is, detailing the whole evening and event in a notebook that I’ll later read and relive while I sip coffee in bed.

2021/06/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

2021/06/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

2021/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The way Bitcoin tanks, you’d think it was a War Machine. Of course, that’s ridiculous, because if it had rolling treads and a swiveling cannon, it would be more peaceful. If you’re looking for the investment of The Future, try raising farm animals.

2021/05/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.

2021/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.

2021/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I like my breakfast burritos at 7 PM, because I get out of bed 60 minutes earlier—and a full twelve hours before lazy roosters wake up. Do you slumber at midnight? What are you doing sleeping your life away?

2021/03/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: weird memes

You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

Like this:

There is a party tomorrow night. You should go. Oh, by the way, you’re not invited. Neither am I. That’s why you should tell me how it is, detailing the whole evening and event in a notebook that I’ll later read and relive while I sip coffee in bed.

Like this:

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Like this:

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

Like this:

The way Bitcoin tanks, you’d think it was a War Machine. Of course, that’s ridiculous, because if it had rolling treads and a swiveling cannon, it would be more peaceful. If you’re looking for the investment of The Future, try raising farm animals.

Like this:

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

Like this:

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

Like this:

As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.

Like this:

My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.

Like this:

I like my breakfast burritos at 7 PM, because I get out of bed 60 minutes earlier—and a full twelve hours before lazy roosters wake up. Do you slumber at midnight? What are you doing sleeping your life away?

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