Have you ever told a joke with a punch line so naughty you have to whisper it? I did that today, only I shouted the ending, because with Forced Social Distancing, by the time my voice traveled and endured over the air to the receiving ear, it may have been nearly inaudible.

2020/04/022020/04/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

2020/03/182020/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In 2016 I deftly avoided stepping in the dog shit known as our Presidential Election. But here we are, nearly four years later, and some people are still chewing on that same piece of poop, while others have found a fresh turd to gargle.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I gave birth to myself, like some kind of hermaphroditic worm, would I be entitled to FREE food? This is an important issue that NO Presidential candidate has EVER mentioned.

2020/03/132020/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people sleepwalk, but I sleeprun. The other night I breezed through a whole marathon. Good thing I was wearing my Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next%s, because I was able to cover the distance in record time—without waking up my cat, who was curled up next to me the whole slumber.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: weird memes

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

Like this:

In 2016 I deftly avoided stepping in the dog shit known as our Presidential Election. But here we are, nearly four years later, and some people are still chewing on that same piece of poop, while others have found a fresh turd to gargle.

Like this:

Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.

Like this:

Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.

Like this:

If I gave birth to myself, like some kind of hermaphroditic worm, would I be entitled to FREE food? This is an important issue that NO Presidential candidate has EVER mentioned.

Like this:

Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

Like this:

Some people sleepwalk, but I sleeprun. The other night I breezed through a whole marathon. Good thing I was wearing my Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next%s, because I was able to cover the distance in record time—without waking up my cat, who was curled up next to me the whole slumber.

Like this:

Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.

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