Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Ducks now come with voice activation. Batteries and muffled fog-filled muffins sold separately. The ducks are waterproof, but the muffins do NOT double as dish sponges when soggy.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Besides being Bigfoot FOR HIRE, I’m also the Chris Evans of Crisis Actors. You can see I’m good, because you don’t even know that you’ve seen me. But you have seen me. Recently I played The Dummy whose life was being saved by TikTok dancers dressed up like nurses and doctors.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Wearing a mask over your mouth, it’s the new way to wear a blindfold. Let the world know you watch TV and that you stay up-to-date on misinformation.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I wanna go some place where The Dollar still has value, which is why for my 2020 summer vacation, I plan to spend it in 1991. That’s right, I’m going to Branson!

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever told a joke with a punch line so naughty you have to whisper it? I did that today, only I shouted the ending, because with Forced Social Distancing, by the time my voice traveled and endured over the air to the receiving ear, it may have been nearly inaudible.

2020/04/022020/04/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: weird memes

Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

Like this:

Ducks now come with voice activation. Batteries and muffled fog-filled muffins sold separately. The ducks are waterproof, but the muffins do NOT double as dish sponges when soggy.

Like this:

Besides being Bigfoot FOR HIRE, I’m also the Chris Evans of Crisis Actors. You can see I’m good, because you don’t even know that you’ve seen me. But you have seen me. Recently I played The Dummy whose life was being saved by TikTok dancers dressed up like nurses and doctors.

Like this:

Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

Like this:

Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

Like this:

Wearing a mask over your mouth, it’s the new way to wear a blindfold. Let the world know you watch TV and that you stay up-to-date on misinformation.

Like this:

I wanna go some place where The Dollar still has value, which is why for my 2020 summer vacation, I plan to spend it in 1991. That’s right, I’m going to Branson!

Like this:

The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

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