The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.
Tag: weird meme
At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.
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You know those orange construction cones they put out on the highway when doing road work? I’d like to serve you ice cream in one of those cones, and I’d like for that ice cream to be duck-soup flavored.
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You should be proactive and call BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm BEFORE something breaks on your car. That way we can come out and make sure something needs to get fixed.
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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.
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A lollipop is a sucker. So is a flag worshipper. There is no more absurd non-sequitur than celebrating FREEDOM in a country with the highest incarceration rate—and a history of endless warmongering.
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Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.
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I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.
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The difference between a karate chop and a handshake extension is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. The best way to cut through hot duck soup is with a canoe.
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As far as culinary artists go, I’m less Julia Child and more Julia Teenager. My cooking has the kind of maturity that screams, “You’re not my REAL father, and you can’t tell me what to do!”
