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Tag: tv

You can’t call yourself a Christian and then VOTE in an anti-Christ system. Some of you spend so much time watching football that you now read at the same level as the average NFL player, but The Bible and salvation don’t care about your second-grade intellectual capacity.

2020/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Wearing a mask over your mouth, it’s the new way to wear a blindfold. Let the world know you watch TV and that you stay up-to-date on misinformation.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

2019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I was talking to a man the other day who was telling me stories from his past, and I was sad, because all of his memories were scenes from sitcoms he’d seen on TV. Then I sold him a box of tissues, and then convinced him to let me use them all, since he did make me cry.

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should write a book called, “The Art of The Sale, and How I’ve Never Had One.” I’ve also never had two or more sales, so there’s an eloquent and delicate balance to my approach.

2018/07/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only people who want you to stay asleep are mattress salesmen and Deep State Globalists. For them, they don’t ever want you to wake up. Meme Warfare is not the same as The War on Memes. Which side are you on?

2018/04/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My hobbies used to be eating dead babies rebranded and camouflaged as McDonald’s hamburgers and watching TV for eight hours a day, but now I’m wholly engaged in Meme Warfare, both making and sharing, and I’ve never felt more full or fulfilled.

2018/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Watch TV and believe. This is all you need to do to be the ideal citizen, from the government’s perspective.

2017/10/202017/10/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.
  • They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.
  • Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.
  • It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!
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