My advice to you is if you feel like you’re losing, give yourself a pep talk. Be your own coach. How do you do that? For ONLY $19.95, I can coach you to be your own coach. Lessons even come with a FREE trophy!
Tag: trophy
I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.
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People told me it couldn’t be done, but I didn’t listen, because I had already paid for a trophy to award myself. So when I couldn’t do it, I went and purchased a participation trophy, and then I threw myself a victory celebration.
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I’m a modest guy. In fact, in the history of the world, there’s never been anybody more modest than me. I am The World’s Most Modest Man. My modesty is so legendary that I’m thinking of buying myself a custom-made trophy to celebrate and memorialize it.
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I know a thing or thirteen about making soap. But so what? Am I the World’s Greatest Soap Maker? Actually, YES! And I have the trophy to prove it. It only cost me $19.95 from The Trophy Store.
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I used to give swimming lessons to dolphins, and I can tell you that this mammal has the aquatic talent of tumbleweed in the desert. I also once raced Michael Phelps and won. Not THE Michael Phelps, but A Michael Phelps, though I still think it’s a trophy-worthy accomplishment.
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The only thing better than me is you, except for me and you together, which is best of all. And I’m not being hyperbolic about my being third best. I have a trophy to prove it. I bought it from The Trophy Store for $19.95.
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I was recently crowned Salesman of The Century. It’s a one-hundred-year honor that I was able to obtain for $44.44 at my local Trophy Store.
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Today’s society hands out Participation Trophies so nobody feels like a loser. Well, as a father, my dad would have earned a (non) Participation Trophy. Instead of 1st Place, it would have been inscribed, “No Place,” because he was never around and nowhere to be found.
