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Tag: trees

And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Powerlines, they’ve been ruining landscape photography ever since Edison didn’t listen to Tesla. Probably.

2019/04/132019/04/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Hasn’t anybody told you it’s not polite to stare at nakedness? Not unless you’ve paid the Entrance Fee, which is ONLY $19.95, and then you’re free to ogle.

2019/03/262019/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

2019/02/252019/02/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I get married, I think I am going to invite the trees of The Ozarks to my wedding, because it will be wonderful on my Day of Love to be surrounded by so many of my dancing students.

2018/10/052018/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Thanks to global warming, forest fires are more conscientious and considerate than ever, and they’re even so polite that they’ll burn down just the houses, but leave the lawns and trees and even whole forests in tact and untouched. Now that’s caring.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Agriculture is hard, and trees grow up so fast these days—most of them growing up without a father. That’s why I chose to #Startup a Meme Farm. Now I can press fresh Dankness, and sell it in Juice Format as a Coffee Alternative used in waking up The People.

2018/08/302018/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No matter what you do, even if you do nothing, you are doing something. So if you’re going to go through all the trouble of doing something, you may as well avoid trouble and do the wise thing.

2018/05/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I love how trees can read my mind, because they already know what I’m about to write down on paper, and which one of their dead family members I am using to record my thoughts for posterity.

2018/03/272018/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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