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Tag: tourist

Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.

2020/08/192020/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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How can I convey how much conveyor belts in factories are needed when a town’s only industry is tourism? If you want to make progress, you have to actually make something.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The chart of Branson, Missouri on Google Trends from 2004 until today looks like a regular heartbeat. That’s the look of tourism having a stroke in the future.

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once ran five miles an hour. It took me two hours to build up that kind of speed. I built it using 100% recycled material.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When people ask me, “Why are you so weird?” I like to reply, “Why isn’t Duck Soup made with frogs?” It’s a good question, because I’ll bet Fried Duck Soup would jump right off the menu.

2019/08/242019/08/24 jarodkintz12 Comments

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Some people are people people, and some people are animal people. I am a Cat Lady, though at least I don’t travel without understanding gratuity.

2019/02/252019/02/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I was born a salesman, and I was born after the promotional date, so I hope my mom got me for 50% OFF. I do know I was Buy One, Get One FREE, which is odd because I don’t have a twin, and that’s why I’m so extra.

2019/01/212019/01/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A shoplifter in a shopping cart is already in a prison cell of sorts.

2018/12/042018/12/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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