Tag: tourism
I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”
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Most people aren’t fortunate enough to know what the future looks like, but for Branson it looks fatter and older. Maybe hospital tourism is another way to attract a wider audience.
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I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.
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The profit Walmart made off this soda sale must be fat. I mean truly obese. That’s the sign of a healthy tourism economy.
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One cool thing about having visited The Future is I already know who wins every Presidential election. In 2020 and 2024 the winner is The Banksters. There is no election in 2028, as WWIII has destroyed everything in this country except one lone tourist in Branson, driving 15 MPH.
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The chart of Branson, Missouri on Google Trends from 2004 until today looks like a regular heartbeat. That’s the look of tourism having a stroke in the future.
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I was just thinking to myself, “Branson doesn’t have enough obese 80-year-old tourists, and to really be vibrant into the future, we need MORE of those types of visitors.”
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I once ran five miles an hour. It took me two hours to build up that kind of speed. I built it using 100% recycled material.
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A cloud with a stick affixed would make the ultimate umbrella. It’s the kind of thing I’d love to sell to midwestern farmers visiting Branson, tourists eager to spend all their government subsidy money.
jarodkintz.com 