I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”

2020/01/312020/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-41

Most people aren’t fortunate enough to know what the future looks like, but for Branson it looks fatter and older. Maybe hospital tourism is another way to attract a wider audience.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-17

I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-15

The profit Walmart made off this soda sale must be fat. I mean truly obese. That’s the sign of a healthy tourism economy.

2020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-13

One cool thing about having visited The Future is I already know who wins every Presidential election. In 2020 and 2024 the winner is The Banksters. There is no election in 2028, as WWIII has destroyed everything in this country except one lone tourist in Branson, driving 15 MPH.

2020/01/052020/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-12

The chart of Branson, Missouri on Google Trends from 2004 until today looks like a regular heartbeat. That’s the look of tourism having a stroke in the future.

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-46

I was just thinking to myself, “Branson doesn’t have enough obese 80-year-old tourists, and to really be vibrant into the future, we need MORE of those types of visitors.”

2019/12/112019/12/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-22

I once ran five miles an hour. It took me two hours to build up that kind of speed. I built it using 100% recycled material.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-11

A cloud with a stick affixed would make the ultimate umbrella. It’s the kind of thing I’d love to sell to midwestern farmers visiting Branson, tourists eager to spend all their government subsidy money.

2019/12/072019/12/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-3

The best part about taking a two-week vacation in Branson is you’ll spend 12 of the 14 days stuck behind one Buick from Kansas driving as fast as a push lawnmower.

2019/05/142019/05/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-9

Tag: tourism

I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”

Like this:

Most people aren’t fortunate enough to know what the future looks like, but for Branson it looks fatter and older. Maybe hospital tourism is another way to attract a wider audience.

Like this:

I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

Like this:

The profit Walmart made off this soda sale must be fat. I mean truly obese. That’s the sign of a healthy tourism economy.

Like this:

One cool thing about having visited The Future is I already know who wins every Presidential election. In 2020 and 2024 the winner is The Banksters. There is no election in 2028, as WWIII has destroyed everything in this country except one lone tourist in Branson, driving 15 MPH.

Like this:

The chart of Branson, Missouri on Google Trends from 2004 until today looks like a regular heartbeat. That’s the look of tourism having a stroke in the future.

Like this:

I was just thinking to myself, “Branson doesn’t have enough obese 80-year-old tourists, and to really be vibrant into the future, we need MORE of those types of visitors.”

Like this:

I once ran five miles an hour. It took me two hours to build up that kind of speed. I built it using 100% recycled material.

Like this:

The best part about taking a two-week vacation in Branson is you’ll spend 12 of the 14 days stuck behind one Buick from Kansas driving as fast as a push lawnmower.

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: