The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.

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I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”

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