Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!
At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.
Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)
When I’m not making cakes, my hobbies include terrorizing trailer parks and being photographed by storm chasers.
Our love is purple, because you are red and I’m always so blue.
The worst part about selling #TornadoRidingSaddles is there are no repeat customers. Fortunately, there are a lot of people willing to waste their money and their life. My target market consists entirely of people who are pro sports season ticket holders.
I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.
I lined up seventeen people, each of whom only had a first name that was monosyllabic, and I arranged what would have been the most romantic haiku, if only one person didn’t feel lonely and without a partner.