Tag: tornado
Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)
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When I’m not making cakes, my hobbies include terrorizing trailer parks and being photographed by storm chasers.
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Our love is purple, because you are red and I’m always so blue.
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The worst part about selling #TornadoRidingSaddles is there are no repeat customers. Fortunately, there are a lot of people willing to waste their money and their life. My target market consists entirely of people who are pro sports season ticket holders.
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I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.
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I lined up seventeen people, each of whom only had a first name that was monosyllabic, and I arranged what would have been the most romantic haiku, if only one person didn’t feel lonely and without a partner.
