I can teach you how to dance, but I can’t teach you how to be sexy. Well, I mean I can, but it’ll cost you an additional $19.95.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-9

After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-8

My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

2019/01/062019/01/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-7

Why are you so weird? Why can’t you just be perfectly normal like me?

2018/11/302018/11/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy43

If you love my service as a Reality Tour Guide, or even if you hate it, would you be kind enough to recommend me to all your friends? Be sure to mention my ever-rising fee, and tell them that’s just one of the many benefits of doing business with me.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I should combine my Dancing In A Box with a Music Box, and toss in some FREE shoes, so my potential customers and students have no excuse for not buying. My product is made in a sweatshop, a sauna, unlike Nike, which uses child labor in a sweatshop.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy8

I sell Blindfolds, and I sell Dancing Lessons, and you’ll need both if you want to be my student. I hope you do want to be my student, because I’d really like to unload my inventory of Dancing Lessons. They are just sitting in boxes, taking up space in my warehouse.

2018/09/042018/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy5

I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.

2018/07/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy10

I’ll be hosting the first ever International Nonsense Conference. It will be held on page 22 of your third-grade math book. You don’t want to miss it!

2018/04/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy21

Well, the marketing campaign for #DancingLessonsInABottle has begun! Now I’m just waiting on my very first sale! And if I can get Dr. @Obambulator to recommend it to all his geriatric patients, I’ll be RICH!

2018/02/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy11

Tag: teacher

I can teach you how to dance, but I can’t teach you how to be sexy. Well, I mean I can, but it’ll cost you an additional $19.95.

Like this:

After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

Like this:

My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

Like this:

Why are you so weird? Why can’t you just be perfectly normal like me?

Like this:

If you love my service as a Reality Tour Guide, or even if you hate it, would you be kind enough to recommend me to all your friends? Be sure to mention my ever-rising fee, and tell them that’s just one of the many benefits of doing business with me.

Like this:

I should combine my Dancing In A Box with a Music Box, and toss in some FREE shoes, so my potential customers and students have no excuse for not buying. My product is made in a sweatshop, a sauna, unlike Nike, which uses child labor in a sweatshop.

Like this:

I sell Blindfolds, and I sell Dancing Lessons, and you’ll need both if you want to be my student. I hope you do want to be my student, because I’d really like to unload my inventory of Dancing Lessons. They are just sitting in boxes, taking up space in my warehouse.

Like this:

I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.

Like this:

I’ll be hosting the first ever International Nonsense Conference. It will be held on page 22 of your third-grade math book. You don’t want to miss it!

Like this:

Well, the marketing campaign for #DancingLessonsInABottle has begun! Now I’m just waiting on my very first sale! And if I can get Dr. @Obambulator to recommend it to all his geriatric patients, I’ll be RICH!

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: