I can coach you how to become the next Michael Phelps—but not the Michael Phelps of swimming. No, I’ll teach you how to sleep like a pro. And if you don’t fall asleep during class, I won’t think you’re a good student.

2020/12/312021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I have 25 ducks, and I give you two, how many ducks do I have? The answer is 25, because I’m not in the business of just giving ducks away. But if you are interested, they are all FOR SALE.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

2019/05/102019/05/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

2019/05/012019/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever stepped on a Lego? Well, you know that jerky movement your legs do, with an accompanying torso contortion? I can teach you how to dance like that without the pain stimulus that prompted that stylish motion. And my Dancing Lessons are now in liquid format!

2019/04/112019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also offering Painting Classes. Paint like a master by painting over masterpieces. Improve on The Mona Lisa by adding a mustache, you creative genius. $19.95 per session.

2019/02/032019/02/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.

2019/01/262019/01/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: teacher

I can coach you how to become the next Michael Phelps—but not the Michael Phelps of swimming. No, I’ll teach you how to sleep like a pro. And if you don’t fall asleep during class, I won’t think you’re a good student.

Like this:

As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

Like this:

If I have 25 ducks, and I give you two, how many ducks do I have? The answer is 25, because I’m not in the business of just giving ducks away. But if you are interested, they are all FOR SALE.

Like this:

Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

Like this:

This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

Like this:

This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

Like this:

Have you ever stepped on a Lego? Well, you know that jerky movement your legs do, with an accompanying torso contortion? I can teach you how to dance like that without the pain stimulus that prompted that stylish motion. And my Dancing Lessons are now in liquid format!

Like this:

I’m also offering Painting Classes. Paint like a master by painting over masterpieces. Improve on The Mona Lisa by adding a mustache, you creative genius. $19.95 per session.

Like this:

I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.

Like this:

I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

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