I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.

2019/01/262019/01/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I can teach you how to dance, but I can’t teach you how to be sexy. Well, I mean I can, but it’ll cost you an additional $19.95.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should combine my Dancing In A Box with a Music Box, and toss in some FREE shoes, so my potential customers and students have no excuse for not buying. My product is made in a sweatshop, a sauna, unlike Nike, which uses child labor in a sweatshop.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.

2018/07/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In the Venn Diagram of Us, there was never such a complete overlap that it looked like One Perfect Circle. But those wedges on the edges gave what we had its flavor, like cheese with wine.

2018/06/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once saw two old men about to get into a fistfight on the street, and I had to physically get in between them to stop them, because the crowd had just gathered and nobody had been able to place any bets yet.

2018/03/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Everything I know about love I learned from my cat. Thankfully he gave me a discount and didn’t make me pay full retail price.

2017/12/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Spectators tell me I dance like a flying fish, and it’s true, I am #TheMichaelPhelpsOfBodyAviation, and right now my dancing lessons are ON SALE at defective parachute prices.

2017/12/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: teach

I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.

Like this:

I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

Like this:

I can teach you how to dance, but I can’t teach you how to be sexy. Well, I mean I can, but it’ll cost you an additional $19.95.

Like this:

After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

Like this:

I should combine my Dancing In A Box with a Music Box, and toss in some FREE shoes, so my potential customers and students have no excuse for not buying. My product is made in a sweatshop, a sauna, unlike Nike, which uses child labor in a sweatshop.

Like this:

I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.

Like this:

In the Venn Diagram of Us, there was never such a complete overlap that it looked like One Perfect Circle. But those wedges on the edges gave what we had its flavor, like cheese with wine.

Like this:

I once saw two old men about to get into a fistfight on the street, and I had to physically get in between them to stop them, because the crowd had just gathered and nobody had been able to place any bets yet.

Like this:

Everything I know about love I learned from my cat. Thankfully he gave me a discount and didn’t make me pay full retail price.

Like this:

Spectators tell me I dance like a flying fish, and it’s true, I am #TheMichaelPhelpsOfBodyAviation, and right now my dancing lessons are ON SALE at defective parachute prices.

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