Everybody loves duck-soup-flavored ice cream. 10,000 hours of swimming go into each scoop!
Tag: swimming
Swimming lessons now available at 2020 Olympics ticket prices. Each practice is flavored like a kangaroo chase, and you get FREE refills.
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People always ask me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm makes the BEST SwimmingBird Soup. So, what’s the secret ingredient?” Simple: Swimming. You don’t have to be Michael Phelps to figure that out.
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People who say I can’t do something are wrong. I can do it. I just don’t want to do it. Or I’ll get around to doing it after they’ve already gotten someone else to do it. But that kind of customer service usually costs extra, and that’s why you shop BearPaw Duck Farm.
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One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.
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Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!
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Some cinematic epics are immortalized in memory, and this GIF meme is one such masterpiece. I hope this theatrical release is well-received by both film critics and duck buyers.
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Nine out of ten dentists recommend this deal. The tenth dentist is now toothless, and my knuckles are still raw and bruised.
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People told me it couldn’t be done, but I didn’t listen, because I had already paid for a trophy to award myself. So when I couldn’t do it, I went and purchased a participation trophy, and then I threw myself a victory celebration.
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What better time to succeed than when you are failing and your life depends on you accomplishing your goal? That’s why the best time to call me for swimming lessons is when you are drowning, but don’t expect to make The Olympics or not die your first coaching session. No refunds.
