I now offer a vegan menu option for all those eaters whose stomachs are bigger than their brains. Order your meatless duck today and enjoy the wonderful flavor of soy.
I was once swimming, thinking I was racing against Michael Phelps, and was like, “Whoa, buddy! Why are you trying to bite my leg off?!” Then I realized it wasn’t actually Michael Phelps, but was a great white shark, and I was wearing a bathing suit made from used Band-Aids.
I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.
Everybody loves duck-soup-flavored ice cream. 10,000 hours of swimming go into each scoop!
Swimming lessons now available at 2020 Olympics ticket prices. Each practice is flavored like a kangaroo chase, and you get FREE refills.
People always ask me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm makes the BEST SwimmingBird Soup. So, what’s the secret ingredient?” Simple: Swimming. You don’t have to be Michael Phelps to figure that out.
People who say I can’t do something are wrong. I can do it. I just don’t want to do it. Or I’ll get around to doing it after they’ve already gotten someone else to do it. But that kind of customer service usually costs extra, and that’s why you shop BearPaw Duck Farm.
One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.
Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!