Tag: swimmer
I used to give swimming lessons to dolphins, and I can tell you that this mammal has the aquatic talent of tumbleweed in the desert. I also once raced Michael Phelps and won. Not THE Michael Phelps, but A Michael Phelps, though I still think it’s a trophy-worthy accomplishment.
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What better way to stir things up a bit than with Caeleb Dressel’s winning freestyle form? Drink in what he’s able to do in the pool, because it’s like coffee that never goes cold.
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I once made a large pot of Lightning Soup. It had two ingredients: Chlorinated water and swimmers in the pool during a thunderstorm.
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I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.
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Spectators tell me I dance like a flying fish, and it’s true, I am #TheMichaelPhelpsOfBodyAviation, and right now my dancing lessons are ON SALE at defective parachute prices.
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I now sell nonsense in small, small-medium, medium, medium-large, large, and large-small. They all come with FREE refills and the same size of cup.
jarodkintz.com 