Tag: surreal
I’m writing a history book. It’s about yesterday. It goes ON SALE tomorrow for $19.95, and it includes FREE Leftover Meatloaf from antiquity. Sources tell me it tastes like The French Revolution.
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To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.
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Before a fire enters a house, it never asks itself, “Is the front door locked? Should I first knock?” And because it’s so rude, that’s why I never invite it to barbeques.
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Some flavors can only be tasted with wise awakened eyes wide.
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The problem with a birthday for twins is what you get one, you have to get the other. But what about triplets? The collapse of Building 7 may not look like the Twin Towers, but its father is still Israel.
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You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.
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In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.
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Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.
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The brain is in the body, and memories are in the brain. Are my memories therefore not physical extensions of me, and able to be frozen for all of eternity, so that someone in the future can dethaw them and laugh at all the jokes I once enjoyed?
