I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

2019/11/122019/11/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Much like The Circus, politics is serious. It’s no laughing matter. If you don’t vote, some dead guy in Chicago will do it for you—twice.

2019/11/122019/11/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I merged martial arts with wakefulness when I first decided to stir coffee with my karate chop. Sure, every sip tasted like brutal violence, in liquid self-defense format, but you should be glad it didn’t have a kick to it.

2019/11/072019/11/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

2019/11/062019/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I take jokes very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I never take jokes.

2019/11/042019/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What better way to engage in narrative economics than to attack fake money itself? Robert SHILLer says there’s nothing to do to prepare for the collapse but to ride it out. Does he plan on riding it out on a unicycle? Only a clown sees the dollar collapse but avoids silver.

2019/11/032019/11/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Where did the first half of my joke go? I don’t even remember how it goes, so I have no idea where it could have gone. Maybe it’s wandering around THE Ohio State University chasing the ehoes of laughter from the recent Charlie Kirk heckling.

2019/11/032019/11/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of all the looks you can give me, it’s the one you can’t give that I hate the most. Your OUT OF STOCK expression is just devastating.

2019/10/272019/10/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: surreal

I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

Like this:

Much like The Circus, politics is serious. It’s no laughing matter. If you don’t vote, some dead guy in Chicago will do it for you—twice.

Like this:

When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

Like this:

I merged martial arts with wakefulness when I first decided to stir coffee with my karate chop. Sure, every sip tasted like brutal violence, in liquid self-defense format, but you should be glad it didn’t have a kick to it.

Like this:

If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

Like this:

I take jokes very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I never take jokes.

Like this:

What better way to engage in narrative economics than to attack fake money itself? Robert SHILLer says there’s nothing to do to prepare for the collapse but to ride it out. Does he plan on riding it out on a unicycle? Only a clown sees the dollar collapse but avoids silver.

Like this:

Where did the first half of my joke go? I don’t even remember how it goes, so I have no idea where it could have gone. Maybe it’s wandering around THE Ohio State University chasing the ehoes of laughter from the recent Charlie Kirk heckling.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

Of all the looks you can give me, it’s the one you can’t give that I hate the most. Your OUT OF STOCK expression is just devastating.

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