If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

2019/01/082019/01/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

2019/01/062019/01/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

2019/01/052019/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I visit a Cuddle Zoo, the only thing I like to pet are Fir Trees. And I always wear gloves, because the Leftover Meatloaf isn’t going to simply heat itself.

2019/01/032019/01/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.

2019/01/012019/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If Life Coaches got invitations to The Olympics, you’d be my Michael Phelps. My favorite part about coaching is getting paid to watch the people paying me do all the hard work.

2018/12/312018/12/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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She has a heart like a desert cactus, my love is like a waterfall, and you can enjoy a FREE barrel ride over the edge, if you don’t mind sloshing around with all the wine inside.

2018/12/312018/12/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

2018/12/302018/12/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You could be who you were born to be. With my red clown noses FOR SALE, or FREE with select offers, you no longer have to wait around for Presidential Elections to let the world know who you really are deep inside.

2018/12/272018/12/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

2018/12/192018/12/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: surreal

If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

Like this:

My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

Like this:

I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

Like this:

When I visit a Cuddle Zoo, the only thing I like to pet are Fir Trees. And I always wear gloves, because the Leftover Meatloaf isn’t going to simply heat itself.

Like this:

I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.

Like this:

If Life Coaches got invitations to The Olympics, you’d be my Michael Phelps. My favorite part about coaching is getting paid to watch the people paying me do all the hard work.

Like this:

She has a heart like a desert cactus, my love is like a waterfall, and you can enjoy a FREE barrel ride over the edge, if you don’t mind sloshing around with all the wine inside.

Like this:

There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

Like this:

You could be who you were born to be. With my red clown noses FOR SALE, or FREE with select offers, you no longer have to wait around for Presidential Elections to let the world know who you really are deep inside.

Like this:

I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

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