Buy One Wheel, Get One FREE. You get TWO unicycles for the price of ONE bicycle. And if you act NOW, I’ll even include Frozen Duck Soup On A Stick for FREE.

2020/06/232020/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-12

I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-28

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-23

Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-22

My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

2020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-20

I just saw lightning, so I guess swim practice is canceled until you clear off the pool table and do the dishes. If you can sink the eight ball without getting it wet, you can have desert.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-12

Have you ever wanted to be a high-performance athlete like you see in this GIF? Well, my coaching services just happen to be ON SALE at 1995 prices—which works out to ONLY $19.95 per hour.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-11

The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-9

The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-5

I had Dr. Gigglebrooks run diagnostics on my proprietary torture device that measures the quantity of exhaled breath in authentic laughter, and the results are in: A Box of Laughter has 33.3% more FLAVOR than Canned Laughter.

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-4

Tag: surreal

Buy One Wheel, Get One FREE. You get TWO unicycles for the price of ONE bicycle. And if you act NOW, I’ll even include Frozen Duck Soup On A Stick for FREE.

Like this:

I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

Like this:

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

Like this:

My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

Like this:

I just saw lightning, so I guess swim practice is canceled until you clear off the pool table and do the dishes. If you can sink the eight ball without getting it wet, you can have desert.

Like this:

Have you ever wanted to be a high-performance athlete like you see in this GIF? Well, my coaching services just happen to be ON SALE at 1995 prices—which works out to ONLY $19.95 per hour.

Like this:

The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

Like this:

The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.

Like this:

I had Dr. Gigglebrooks run diagnostics on my proprietary torture device that measures the quantity of exhaled breath in authentic laughter, and the results are in: A Box of Laughter has 33.3% more FLAVOR than Canned Laughter.

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: