Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Jacob, the son of Isaac, wasn’t the only man to wrestle with a being of light. I have grappled with a hologram, and I was victorious. A holographic entity is one FREE refill beyond gender fluid.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a bit of a marathon runner myself. I once ran for Class President, and I only lost by 26.2 miles. It was a tight race.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This meme really speaks to me, in the manner of Helen Keller. Also in the manor is the butler, and if I’m ever murdered, he’s the guy you should blame, because he tried to get the kitchen into Spirit Cooking.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to want to be a fire fighter, so I custom made my equipment. I mixed oven mitts with boxing gloves, because how else are you supposed to fight a fire? I got choked out in my first match, because my wrestling was weak in comparison to the flames.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: surreal

Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

Like this:

I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

Like this:

Jacob, the son of Isaac, wasn’t the only man to wrestle with a being of light. I have grappled with a hologram, and I was victorious. A holographic entity is one FREE refill beyond gender fluid.

Like this:

I’m a bit of a marathon runner myself. I once ran for Class President, and I only lost by 26.2 miles. It was a tight race.

Like this:

Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

Like this:

This meme really speaks to me, in the manner of Helen Keller. Also in the manor is the butler, and if I’m ever murdered, he’s the guy you should blame, because he tried to get the kitchen into Spirit Cooking.

Like this:

I used to want to be a fire fighter, so I custom made my equipment. I mixed oven mitts with boxing gloves, because how else are you supposed to fight a fire? I got choked out in my first match, because my wrestling was weak in comparison to the flames.

Like this:

I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

Like this:

I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

Like this:

Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.

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