The problem with a birthday for twins is what you get one, you have to get the other. But what about triplets? The collapse of Building 7 may not look like the Twin Towers, but its father is still Israel.

2019/07/312019/07/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.

2019/07/302019/07/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.

2019/07/272019/07/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I say NO to Israel, I’m really saying YES to peace.

2019/07/052019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

2019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sometimes I long for the good old days, like the ones between the years 2033 through 2039. The crowd gathered outside my house and chanted, “The bees are dead! You killed all the bees!” And they repeated that until one guy got stung, and then they apologized and left my yard.

2019/07/052019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Try The Fish Drink. It tastes like beer and wasted time. Buy a six pack for the price of eight.

2019/02/232019/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: surreal memes

The problem with a birthday for twins is what you get one, you have to get the other. But what about triplets? The collapse of Building 7 may not look like the Twin Towers, but its father is still Israel.

Like this:

You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.

Like this:

In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.

Like this:

Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

Like this:

When I say NO to Israel, I’m really saying YES to peace.

Like this:

Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

Like this:

Sometimes I long for the good old days, like the ones between the years 2033 through 2039. The crowd gathered outside my house and chanted, “The bees are dead! You killed all the bees!” And they repeated that until one guy got stung, and then they apologized and left my yard.

Like this:

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

Like this:

Try The Fish Drink. It tastes like beer and wasted time. Buy a six pack for the price of eight.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

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