Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.
Tag: surreal memes
There is a party tomorrow night. You should go. Oh, by the way, you’re not invited. Neither am I. That’s why you should tell me how it is, detailing the whole evening and event in a notebook that I’ll later read and relive while I sip coffee in bed.
Share this:
Share this:
Today is the one that introduces Yesterday to Tomorrow. If it weren’t for Today, Nostalgia would never meet Hope.
Share this:
Share this:
The problem with a birthday for twins is what you get one, you have to get the other. But what about triplets? The collapse of Building 7 may not look like the Twin Towers, but its father is still Israel.
Share this:
Share this:
You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.
Share this:
Share this:
In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.
Share this:
Share this:
Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.
Share this:
Share this:
When I say NO to Israel, I’m really saying YES to peace.
Share this:
Share this:
Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
Share this:
Share this:
Sometimes I long for the good old days, like the ones between the years 2033 through 2039. The crowd gathered outside my house and chanted, “The bees are dead! You killed all the bees!” And they repeated that until one guy got stung, and then they apologized and left my yard.
