I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

2020/02/242020/02/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If my goal is to get noticed by my Love Interest, will making weird memes get me affection? No, just look at Mike Bloomberg. No, look down. Way down. There he is, all the way down at 5’4″.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I know you’re probably thinking, “You may have just solved the greatest problem facing humanity with your Whistling As A Service idea, but how will you scale up as a business?” That’s easy! I’ll be cloning myself into Unicorn Status and my other selves will be working for FREE.

2019/08/222019/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

2019/08/222019/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: startup

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

Like this:

At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

Like this:

And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

Like this:

If my goal is to get noticed by my Love Interest, will making weird memes get me affection? No, just look at Mike Bloomberg. No, look down. Way down. There he is, all the way down at 5’4″.

Like this:

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

Like this:

I know you’re probably thinking, “You may have just solved the greatest problem facing humanity with your Whistling As A Service idea, but how will you scale up as a business?” That’s easy! I’ll be cloning myself into Unicorn Status and my other selves will be working for FREE.

Like this:

Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

Like this:

When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

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