When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

2021/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

2020/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Like a kangaroo chase in flavor format, monoatomic gold is also a white powder. I try to not mix up the two and mix in the pure white powder gold, because to any politician, that’s snortable money.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Swimming lessons now available at 2020 Olympics ticket prices. Each practice is flavored like a kangaroo chase, and you get FREE refills.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

2020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

2019/11/062019/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: soup

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

Like this:

I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

Like this:

Like a kangaroo chase in flavor format, monoatomic gold is also a white powder. I try to not mix up the two and mix in the pure white powder gold, because to any politician, that’s snortable money.

Like this:

Swimming lessons now available at 2020 Olympics ticket prices. Each practice is flavored like a kangaroo chase, and you get FREE refills.

Like this:

Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

Like this:

I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)

Like this:

Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

Like this:

I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

Like this:

I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

Like this:

If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

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