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Tag: smile

After trying out hours and hours of original material, I can assure you that cats hate knock-knock jokes. To them, knocking is no joke, because if you’ve got knickknacks on a shelf, they’ll seriously knock them all off.

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I still don’t know why I have to actually work to earn income. I mean The Banksters, all they do is fire up the old printing press, and they can make all the “money” they want.

2019/04/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d like to repair your elevator using only a kayak and a smile. Ask me about Tuesday Specials every Monday.

2019/04/092019/04/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When mixed with my lips, her kiss is shaped like desire, and it tastes like how a sunset in The Ozarks makes my heart glow.

2018/12/102018/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Honestly, I think you’re a weirdo. But that’s OK, I’d like to sell you my teeth cleaning services. Actually, what you’re paying for is one-way communication, me talking to you, but the teeth scrubbing, that’s FREE.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once bought a pack of bubblegum, but the gum wasn’t included. Instead, it came with two batteries. They were both dead, like all my love for her, so I taped them in a box and buried them in the cemetery.

2018/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Because I get tired of telling people on The Internet to do their own research ON THE INTERNET, I decided to make a GIF telling people to Do THEIR OWN RESEARCH that I can reuse whenever I come across a dunce.

2018/03/182018/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell smiles because frowns take too much work to produce, and people don’t even want FREE samples, let alone want to buy any.

2018/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to smile but one of your eyes goes #FullReptilian and you’re forced to grimace to stop the morph?

2017/10/202017/10/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • A fire hydrant is the ultimate fountain drink machine. Ask me how you can get FREE refills.
  • If you thought #Bitcoin was a good investment back in early 2016, wait until you see what #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm is selling. We’ve got eggs! Oh, and T-shirts! Buy one—for every day of the year!
  • By embracing international corporations, and encouraging them to come to town, the Chamber of Commerce is making everyone poorer, because Mom & Pop shops can’t compete on price, and all the money spent at Global Inc. gets siphoned away and can’t spiral around locally.
  • Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie are my favorites. I love a good mystery, like the FrankenContents of your preferred pizza, but that’s too scary. For something that’s not practically out of a Mary Shelley novel, I eat at Brick Oven.
  • The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.
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