From honeysuckle to mint to pine, nothing smells fresher than sweet nostalgia. Well, nothing except for The Future, which is synonymous with April in The Ozarks.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You don’t have to have lightning bolts for veins to realize that April in The Ozarks makes you smell powerful. That’s because I took Machiavelli’s complete works and condensed it into a cleansing fragrance.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When making soap, the most important ingredient I include is Time. What you smell now is not what you smelled then, or what you’ll smell later, and those small fluctuations, those tiny discrepancies, are the spaces occupied by nostalgia, as the mind works to fill in the gaps.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is a great idea that’s a terrible idea. Plus, if I made soap that was scented like petroleum, The US Military would invade my shower and kill me.

2020/01/312020/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When you wash with April in The Ozarks, I guarantee you’ll be fresh. Maybe not as fresh as a monkey in a fur coat and sunglasses with a gold chain and a slow roll stroll, but pretty close.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also offering Painting Classes. Paint like a master by painting over masterpieces. Improve on The Mona Lisa by adding a mustache, you creative genius. $19.95 per session.

2019/02/032019/02/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: smell

From honeysuckle to mint to pine, nothing smells fresher than sweet nostalgia. Well, nothing except for The Future, which is synonymous with April in The Ozarks.

Like this:

You don’t have to have lightning bolts for veins to realize that April in The Ozarks makes you smell powerful. That’s because I took Machiavelli’s complete works and condensed it into a cleansing fragrance.

Like this:

When making soap, the most important ingredient I include is Time. What you smell now is not what you smelled then, or what you’ll smell later, and those small fluctuations, those tiny discrepancies, are the spaces occupied by nostalgia, as the mind works to fill in the gaps.

Like this:

The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”

Like this:

This is a great idea that’s a terrible idea. Plus, if I made soap that was scented like petroleum, The US Military would invade my shower and kill me.

Like this:

When you wash with April in The Ozarks, I guarantee you’ll be fresh. Maybe not as fresh as a monkey in a fur coat and sunglasses with a gold chain and a slow roll stroll, but pretty close.

Like this:

Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

Like this:

I’m also offering Painting Classes. Paint like a master by painting over masterpieces. Improve on The Mona Lisa by adding a mustache, you creative genius. $19.95 per session.

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