Movies changed the way people read, because why take 90 days to take in a story, a minute at a time before falling asleep in bed, when you can watch the movie adaptation of the book in 90 minutes? Well now with memes, you don’t even have to waste an hour and a half on a film.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people can take long naps. I’m one of them. That’s why I’m Nap Champion of The World. In fact, I was asleep for the first 20 years of my life. I credit The Iron Triangle for waking me up.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

2019/11/122019/11/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

2019/10/082019/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To get what you want, you’ve got to be willing to work hard for it, and I want to be able to get good sleep, which doesn’t come naturally for me, so I’m willing to lay in bed for twelve hours straight, practicing and trying to perfect my craft like I’m a true professional.

2019/09/282019/09/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/08/272019/08/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

2019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Are you having trouble staying awake at work? Well, with my customized coaching, you’ll be able to fall asleep at your desk guaranteed! With my help, you’ll be able to fall asleep at any time, including in the middle of my class, though the meter will keep running on your bill.

2019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling my NEW face cream that you put on before you go to sleep at night, and when you wake up in the morning you have two additional faces on your skin that will be sure to get you noticed. $19.95 while avocados last. (Nachos sold separately.)

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sleep

Movies changed the way people read, because why take 90 days to take in a story, a minute at a time before falling asleep in bed, when you can watch the movie adaptation of the book in 90 minutes? Well now with memes, you don’t even have to waste an hour and a half on a film.

Like this:

Some people can take long naps. I’m one of them. That’s why I’m Nap Champion of The World. In fact, I was asleep for the first 20 years of my life. I credit The Iron Triangle for waking me up.

Like this:

I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

Like this:

A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

Like this:

To get what you want, you’ve got to be willing to work hard for it, and I want to be able to get good sleep, which doesn’t come naturally for me, so I’m willing to lay in bed for twelve hours straight, practicing and trying to perfect my craft like I’m a true professional.

Like this:

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

Like this:

Are you having trouble staying awake at work? Well, with my customized coaching, you’ll be able to fall asleep at your desk guaranteed! With my help, you’ll be able to fall asleep at any time, including in the middle of my class, though the meter will keep running on your bill.

Like this:

I’m now selling my NEW face cream that you put on before you go to sleep at night, and when you wake up in the morning you have two additional faces on your skin that will be sure to get you noticed. $19.95 while avocados last. (Nachos sold separately.)

Like this:

I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

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