Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Today a guy asked me who’s the US President, and I looked at him like he was crazy before replying, “Desmond is Amazing.” He just stared blankly so I quickly added, “Wait, what time is it? I just got back from the year 2050, so that’s why I have a shopping cart full of bananas.”

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling a liquid escalator in a bottle for your showering pleasure. It’s an uplifting fragrance.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It should be noted that Pepsi did NOT pay me for this #SponsoredAd, despite my calling their accounting department repeatedly about my fee of 49 cents. Heinz also refused to give me money.

2020/01/312020/01/31 jarodkintz15 Comments

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I play the trumpet like my cheeks are on fire, which is why I don’t play the trumpet. And I would make flame-scented soap, but I think shower water would extinguish its essence.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You scream externally with your mouth, but what do you use to scream internally? Doesn’t matter, because if you buy my soap, April in The Ozarks, you’ll only be shouting for joy.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: shower

Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.

Like this:

If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

Like this:

Today a guy asked me who’s the US President, and I looked at him like he was crazy before replying, “Desmond is Amazing.” He just stared blankly so I quickly added, “Wait, what time is it? I just got back from the year 2050, so that’s why I have a shopping cart full of bananas.”

Like this:

I’m now selling a liquid escalator in a bottle for your showering pleasure. It’s an uplifting fragrance.

Like this:

I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

Like this:

It should be noted that Pepsi did NOT pay me for this #SponsoredAd, despite my calling their accounting department repeatedly about my fee of 49 cents. Heinz also refused to give me money.

Like this:

I play the trumpet like my cheeks are on fire, which is why I don’t play the trumpet. And I would make flame-scented soap, but I think shower water would extinguish its essence.

Like this:

You scream externally with your mouth, but what do you use to scream internally? Doesn’t matter, because if you buy my soap, April in The Ozarks, you’ll only be shouting for joy.

Like this:

Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

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