At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we don’t tell you what to do with your money. Except, of course, spend it all on us. If shopping is your hobby, we have what you want, because we sell the experience of frivolity.

2021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have the rarest of all sportsball cards. I have a one-of-one misprint. It’s supposed to be John Gochnaur, but the picture and name say Babe Ruth, whoever that is. It’s also autographed Tom Brady, and you know it’s authentic because I signed it myself. Now FOR SALE in Dogecoin.

2021/04/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A fire hydrant is the ultimate fountain drink machine. Ask me how you can get FREE refills.

2021/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.

2020/11/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When it comes to sunglasses, I’m like Corey Hart. Oh, I don’t wear them at night, but I did buy a pair from Branson’s Five & Dime. Sure, the customer I accosted for an autograph claimed to NOT be Corey Hart, but that’s exactly what Corey Hart would say.

2020/08/252020/08/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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“You break it, you buy it.” That retail maxim is what I told my cat. Well, he broke it. But he couldn’t buy it, because not only does he not have any money—he doesn’t even have any fake money (dollars).

2020/08/252020/08/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: shopping

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we don’t tell you what to do with your money. Except, of course, spend it all on us. If shopping is your hobby, we have what you want, because we sell the experience of frivolity.

Like this:

I have the rarest of all sportsball cards. I have a one-of-one misprint. It’s supposed to be John Gochnaur, but the picture and name say Babe Ruth, whoever that is. It’s also autographed Tom Brady, and you know it’s authentic because I signed it myself. Now FOR SALE in Dogecoin.

Like this:

A fire hydrant is the ultimate fountain drink machine. Ask me how you can get FREE refills.

Like this:

This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.

Like this:

When it comes to sunglasses, I’m like Corey Hart. Oh, I don’t wear them at night, but I did buy a pair from Branson’s Five & Dime. Sure, the customer I accosted for an autograph claimed to NOT be Corey Hart, but that’s exactly what Corey Hart would say.

Like this:

“You break it, you buy it.” That retail maxim is what I told my cat. Well, he broke it. But he couldn’t buy it, because not only does he not have any money—he doesn’t even have any fake money (dollars).

Like this:

At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

Like this:

I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

Like this:

The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

Like this:

What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

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