What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-1

A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

To be a good shopper, you must spend as little money as possible to get as much quantity and quality as possible, but to be a great shopper, you must spend other people’s money. Next time you’re in a store, think like a politician.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.

2019/04/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-1

Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

2019/03/032019/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-4

Shopping for shopping carts has been my addiction ever since I discovered that Aldi’s was selling them for a quarter each. Now I resell them at 3 for 99 cents, or 95 for ONLY $19.95!

2019/03/012019/03/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: shopping

What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

Like this:

A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.

Like this:

Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

To be a good shopper, you must spend as little money as possible to get as much quantity and quality as possible, but to be a great shopper, you must spend other people’s money. Next time you’re in a store, think like a politician.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.

Like this:

Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.

Like this:

Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

Like this:

Shopping for shopping carts has been my addiction ever since I discovered that Aldi’s was selling them for a quarter each. Now I resell them at 3 for 99 cents, or 95 for ONLY $19.95!

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