Tag: shopping
When buying something that’s ON SALE, always remember what my grandpappy used to say, “It doesn’t matter how cheap a thing is, if you don’t need it, make like Leftover Meatloaf in tinfoil and go to the moon!”
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Shop local. Why buy grandmas from out of town, when the ones here are all ON SALE?
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A shopping cart over a bonfire is a Poor Man’s Grill. Right now I’m selling charred hamburgers that taste like savings, particularly and specifically Everyday Low Prices, because I stole this cart from Walmart.
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This is one SALE you don’t want to miss. Wendell will be gone, and I have a key, so everything MUST go! Especially the globe. That piece of #FakeNews is included FREE if you take out the trash.
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If you happen to have a pet that’s so exotic it’s extinct, I do have specialty leashes, and I offer walking services at affordable prices. I’ll even walk your pet peeve, though there’s an extra cost due to the intrinsically irritating nature of the experience.
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Politics is wasted passion, like sports. Just a diversion. I can’t control what the globalist puppets do in Washington DC, but I might be able to influence the quality of life at the local level. The only vote that counts is what you choose to purchase, and from whom.
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I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.
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When people ask me who I voted for, I always say, “Mom and Pop!” That’s because I believe in voting with my wallet, so as much as possible I shop local over global.
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I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)
