My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

2019/04/112019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-41

Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

2019/03/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Center Stage is a Yum Factory, manufacturing olfactory and gustation sensations, and that’s the kind of industry that is helping to Make this country great again.

2019/02/272019/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-50

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

2019/02/162019/02/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-33

Shop local. Why buy grandmas from out of town, when the ones here are all ON SALE?

2019/02/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-3

A shopping cart over a bonfire is a Poor Man’s Grill. Right now I’m selling charred hamburgers that taste like savings, particularly and specifically Everyday Low Prices, because I stole this cart from Walmart.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-50

I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-47

If you happen to have a pet that’s so exotic it’s extinct, I do have specialty leashes, and I offer walking services at affordable prices. I’ll even walk your pet peeve, though there’s an extra cost due to the intrinsically irritating nature of the experience.

2019/01/302019/01/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-46

Politics is wasted passion, like sports. Just a diversion. I can’t control what the globalist puppets do in Washington DC, but I might be able to influence the quality of life at the local level. The only vote that counts is what you choose to purchase, and from whom.

2019/01/302019/01/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-44

By shopping on Amazon, you may save money today, but you’ll pay for it in the future. By not buying local, your discounted purchase comes at the cost of Mom and Pop Shops struggling to survive, and when they are all gone, so is your town.

2019/01/292019/01/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-43

Tag: shop local

My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

Like this:

Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

Like this:

Center Stage is a Yum Factory, manufacturing olfactory and gustation sensations, and that’s the kind of industry that is helping to Make this country great again.

Like this:

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

Like this:

Shop local. Why buy grandmas from out of town, when the ones here are all ON SALE?

Like this:

A shopping cart over a bonfire is a Poor Man’s Grill. Right now I’m selling charred hamburgers that taste like savings, particularly and specifically Everyday Low Prices, because I stole this cart from Walmart.

Like this:

I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

Like this:

If you happen to have a pet that’s so exotic it’s extinct, I do have specialty leashes, and I offer walking services at affordable prices. I’ll even walk your pet peeve, though there’s an extra cost due to the intrinsically irritating nature of the experience.

Like this:

Politics is wasted passion, like sports. Just a diversion. I can’t control what the globalist puppets do in Washington DC, but I might be able to influence the quality of life at the local level. The only vote that counts is what you choose to purchase, and from whom.

Like this:

By shopping on Amazon, you may save money today, but you’ll pay for it in the future. By not buying local, your discounted purchase comes at the cost of Mom and Pop Shops struggling to survive, and when they are all gone, so is your town.

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: