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Tag: sex

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

2021/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When math and English have sex, the baby is Algebra. I’m just glad I’m not the father, but to be honest, I was a little concerned.

2021/01/062021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I would VOTE for a vending machine, but I want to rid politics of prostitutes. If you want to have sex, you must use exact change ONLY!

2020/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once had a dream about what Branson, Missouri dreams about, and I don’t know which was freakier, the town itself or the year 1991.

2019/12/132019/12/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When your skin gets carressed by the warm summer breeze, I hope you think of my breath on your body and remember the details. It’s the scents, tastes, and textures that provide richness to romance.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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People tell me I dance like my legs are on fire, and I let them, because they paid me $19.95 to learn how to rhythmically move like Armageddon. Also, none of the flames were injured in the making of this video.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

2019/10/082019/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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