My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Due to personal reasons, I’ve been banned from all Ford dealerships. I’m trying to appeal the decision, because it was consensual between me and the machines.

2019/03/122019/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To me, making love is performance art, and right now if you’d like to see a masterpiece, tickets are just $10 bucks at the window.

2019/02/062019/02/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make Dank Memes by hand. That’s also how I make love. Hopefully that will change when I get married.

2019/01/122019/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sex

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve been banned from all Ford dealerships. I’m trying to appeal the decision, because it was consensual between me and the machines.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

Like this:

Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

Like this:

To me, making love is performance art, and right now if you’d like to see a masterpiece, tickets are just $10 bucks at the window.

Like this:

I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

Like this:

I make Dank Memes by hand. That’s also how I make love. Hopefully that will change when I get married.

Like this:

I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

Like this:

Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

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