When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

2019/10/082019/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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These days, robots will do everything. They’ll do your job, they’ll take your paycheck, and they’ll even make love to you, for a price, which of course you can’t afford because a robot stole your income.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like a rose, and I make war like a cactus. It’s up to you whether we are a garden or we are desert.

2019/08/192019/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Mistaken identity happens all the time. One time I was mistaken for my own twin, and he never existed, so it really made me question who I am as a person, and ponder if I’m really here or if here is really there and I’m just lost.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

2019/04/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sex

When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

Like this:

A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

Like this:

These days, robots will do everything. They’ll do your job, they’ll take your paycheck, and they’ll even make love to you, for a price, which of course you can’t afford because a robot stole your income.

Like this:

I make love like a rose, and I make war like a cactus. It’s up to you whether we are a garden or we are desert.

Like this:

Mistaken identity happens all the time. One time I was mistaken for my own twin, and he never existed, so it really made me question who I am as a person, and ponder if I’m really here or if here is really there and I’m just lost.

Like this:

I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

Like this:

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

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