My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Numbers are fun. I just learned to count a month ago. That’s 13 days, right? Next month I’ll try to learn the alphabet so I can then take on Algebra.

2020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.

2020/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Tag: salesman

My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.

Like this:

Numbers are fun. I just learned to count a month ago. That’s 13 days, right? Next month I’ll try to learn the alphabet so I can then take on Algebra.

Like this:

I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.

Like this:

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

Like this:

Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

Like this:

This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.

Like this:

The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.

Like this:

Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

Like this:

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

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I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

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