Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know who you’d rather watch perform in Branson, the 1950s cover band at the theater, or the homeless guy with the guitar on the street corner, but either way I’ve got ear plugs in your size FOR SALE.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

2019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: salesman

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

Like this:

Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

Like this:

This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.

Like this:

The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.

Like this:

Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

Like this:

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Like this:

I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

Like this:

I don’t know who you’d rather watch perform in Branson, the 1950s cover band at the theater, or the homeless guy with the guitar on the street corner, but either way I’ve got ear plugs in your size FOR SALE.

Like this:

My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

Like this:

In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

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