Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know who you’d rather watch perform in Branson, the 1950s cover band at the theater, or the homeless guy with the guitar on the street corner, but either way I’ve got ear plugs in your size FOR SALE.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

2019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/09/132019/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: salesman

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Like this:

I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

Like this:

I don’t know who you’d rather watch perform in Branson, the 1950s cover band at the theater, or the homeless guy with the guitar on the street corner, but either way I’ve got ear plugs in your size FOR SALE.

Like this:

My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

Like this:

In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

Like this:

If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

Like this:

I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

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