The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.
Tag: salesman
My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.
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Numbers are fun. I just learned to count a month ago. That’s 13 days, right? Next month I’ll try to learn the alphabet so I can then take on Algebra.
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I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.
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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.
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Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!
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This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.
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The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.
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Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)
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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.
