Water in a picture is a good visual of how my love flows for you, because it does and it doesn’t flow—both at the same time. I guess it all depends on how you look at it—and if you’re a paid-up subscriber.

2019/08/162019/08/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Dynamic pricing is dynamite for freedom of speech, because soon if you want to boycott Israel, you’ll pay dearly—literally, as (((they))) will raise the prices on everything you purchase.

2019/07/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you buy my course, “How To Turn The Holocaust Into Your Own Money-Making Machine” for ONLY $19.95, you’ll also get a FREE yarmulke. But that’s not all! You’ll also receive a travel guide featuring all 109 countries your economic progenitors were forcible exiled from!

2019/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

2019/06/022019/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

2019/05/012019/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I were actually going to sell love, the best way to do it would be to give away FREE samples, because the more I gave away, the more I’d get in return and the more I’d have to sell.

2019/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I’m trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Concert tickets $19.95 each, or two for $39.90.

2019/04/162019/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sales

Water in a picture is a good visual of how my love flows for you, because it does and it doesn’t flow—both at the same time. I guess it all depends on how you look at it—and if you’re a paid-up subscriber.

Like this:

If you buy my course, “How To Turn The Holocaust Into Your Own Money-Making Machine” for ONLY $19.95, you’ll also get a FREE yarmulke. But that’s not all! You’ll also receive a travel guide featuring all 109 countries your economic progenitors were forcible exiled from!

Like this:

I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

Like this:

Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

Like this:

When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

Like this:

This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

Like this:

If I were actually going to sell love, the best way to do it would be to give away FREE samples, because the more I gave away, the more I’d get in return and the more I’d have to sell.

Like this:

The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I’m trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Concert tickets $19.95 each, or two for $39.90.

Like this:

My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

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