I play the trumpet like my cheeks are on fire, which is why I don’t play the trumpet. And I would make flame-scented soap, but I think shower water would extinguish its essence.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d have more respect for The Chamber of Commerce if they sold red, rubber noses, because at least they’d be honest about being a clown show. They recently gloated about bringing in a national fitness chain, despite this small town already having TWO locally owned gyms.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sing like a bird, like a canary in a coal mine. I wish I cleaner, more environmentally friendly voice, but when I croon like a Tesla it just sounds like spontaneous combustion.

2020/01/052020/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Selling tickets is easy when what people are buying is EXCITEMENT. People leave their farms and travel to Branson for one reason only: To pay to gaze at tractors.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sales

I play the trumpet like my cheeks are on fire, which is why I don’t play the trumpet. And I would make flame-scented soap, but I think shower water would extinguish its essence.

Like this:

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Like this:

I’d have more respect for The Chamber of Commerce if they sold red, rubber noses, because at least they’d be honest about being a clown show. They recently gloated about bringing in a national fitness chain, despite this small town already having TWO locally owned gyms.

Like this:

I once bowled a perfect 300. This is Sparta! (Dishwasher sold separately.)

Like this:

I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

Like this:

I sing like a bird, like a canary in a coal mine. I wish I cleaner, more environmentally friendly voice, but when I croon like a Tesla it just sounds like spontaneous combustion.

Like this:

Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

Like this:

I’m now selling American Buffalo, but I am completely Out Of Stock. Can I interest you instead in bison? Bison is just as cuddly in soup format.

Like this:

I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

Like this:

Selling tickets is easy when what people are buying is EXCITEMENT. People leave their farms and travel to Branson for one reason only: To pay to gaze at tractors.

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