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Tag: sales memes

You cannot buy what’s not for sale. But for a limited time, you can purchase what may or may not exist.

2022/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.

2021/10/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.

2021/09/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No live bats are injured in the making of my Duck Soup. To mimic the flavor of FlyingMouse, I use black powdered CaveBird of the variety that used to be shoved inside of muskets to make them fire.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

2020/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
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