And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I were a Bankster dad, I’d tell my boy to go out into the world and make money. But not with a digital printing press, because that’s neither honest nor money. In fact, that kind of business will eventually get you killed by a starving mob.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-24

A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

2019/10/112019/10/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-11

Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sale

And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

Like this:

I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

Like this:

Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

Like this:

Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.

Like this:

If I were a Bankster dad, I’d tell my boy to go out into the world and make money. But not with a digital printing press, because that’s neither honest nor money. In fact, that kind of business will eventually get you killed by a starving mob.

Like this:

If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

Like this:

A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

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