I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

2019/06/022019/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

2019/03/112019/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tuxedos as formal wear is soooooo March 7th, 2019. Today is March 8th, 2019, and that means these jeans are the NEW must-have wedding attire.

2019/03/092019/03/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

2019/03/032019/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.

2019/03/022019/03/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you’re a sneakerhead, you’d have to have meatloaf for brains to not buy out my whole shoe collection, and if you buy the entire contents of my fridge, I’ll even toss in a FREE bottle of ketchup!

2019/02/282019/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you have always wanted to be a fisherman of cash, but just haven’t had the right net to catch it all with, then NOW is your chance to use what the pros use. My net is 100% nylon and Made In America, Argentina.

2019/02/272019/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

2019/02/252019/02/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: sale

I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

Like this:

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

Like this:

Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

Like this:

Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.

Like this:

Tuxedos as formal wear is soooooo March 7th, 2019. Today is March 8th, 2019, and that means these jeans are the NEW must-have wedding attire.

Like this:

Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

Like this:

Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.

Like this:

If you’re a sneakerhead, you’d have to have meatloaf for brains to not buy out my whole shoe collection, and if you buy the entire contents of my fridge, I’ll even toss in a FREE bottle of ketchup!

Like this:

If you have always wanted to be a fisherman of cash, but just haven’t had the right net to catch it all with, then NOW is your chance to use what the pros use. My net is 100% nylon and Made In America, Argentina.

Like this:

Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

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