Tag: sale
Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.
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Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.
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Tuxedos as formal wear is soooooo March 7th, 2019. Today is March 8th, 2019, and that means these jeans are the NEW must-have wedding attire.
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Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!
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Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.
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If you’re a sneakerhead, you’d have to have meatloaf for brains to not buy out my whole shoe collection, and if you buy the entire contents of my fridge, I’ll even toss in a FREE bottle of ketchup!
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If you have always wanted to be a fisherman of cash, but just haven’t had the right net to catch it all with, then NOW is your chance to use what the pros use. My net is 100% nylon and Made In America, Argentina.
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Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!
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Microwavable Frozen Juice is The Drink of The Future! Trust me, I’ve been there. Either that or my watch is just five minutes fast. Either way, my 32-degree drink is ON SALE for just the next 300 seconds. Get it BEFORE the past catches up to this HOT new beverage!
