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Tag: sale

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No live bats are injured in the making of my Duck Soup. To mimic the flavor of FlyingMouse, I use black powdered CaveBird of the variety that used to be shoved inside of muskets to make them fire.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My ducks are ON SALE at Buy Four, Get TWO prices. (Limit three per purchase.)

2020/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Being a good cuddler is something that can be taught, but being the best is something you’re born with. Or, in my case, it’s something to be bought. The Trophy Store is now having a two-for-one SALE, so I’m also about to be the best 4D chess player in the world, overtaking Trump.

2020/10/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Don’t just VOTE. Run to your nearest Voting Factory like you’re on a treadmill. I’ll be sitting in a chair with wheels, because my Jaguar is in the shop again—and it’s ON SALE.

2020/10/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice to you is if you feel like you’re losing, give yourself a pep talk. Be your own coach. How do you do that? For ONLY $19.95, I can coach you to be your own coach. Lessons even come with a FREE trophy!

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.

2020/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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