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Tag: romantic

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Fellas, if your e-girl gets an OnlyFans account, the only way to prove that you love her is to continually give her more money than the other online guys trying to woo her with money. How much she loves you is a direct result of how much you pay her. Who said romance is dead?

2020/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of all the ways to say I love you, saying it in Cupcake is the most romantic. Just don’t try to say I love you with a mouthful of strawberry I love you.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only food shortage we’ll have here at BearPaw Duck Farm is Dennis Hopper, the dwarf duck who hops around on a leg that’s so bum I mistook it for Nick Nolte in “Down and Out in Beverly Hills.”

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you are what you eat, then my ducks are The Ozarks. That means my ducks are 100% Pure Romance.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
  • No matter where you drive in this country, you end up in Clown World. That’s why I make my car go honk, honk.
  • Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?
  • Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
  • The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.
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