As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

2019/04/152019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I love coffee like I love love, but only one of them I’m offering FREE refills on. Both will wake up your mind, but only my love will also wake up your heart.

2019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you were to write the most romantic piece of literature imaginable, it would look exactly like our tax code. All eight trillion pages.

2019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Our love doesn’t belong to me, and our love doesn’t belong to you. Our love belongs to The Future.

2019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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We live in a world of fake money, fake food, fake news, fake history, fake space, fake reasons to go to war, and fake genders, but you think the love you swiped right on is real? Well, I’ll leave you that delusion, because at least it was FREE.

2019/04/042019/04/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ve written a whole forest’s worth of Love Poetry for you, and not a single tree was chopped down to complete this Library of The Heart.

2019/03/262019/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Would you accept True Love that was mostly true, say about 80%? Probably not, right? Well, why do you tolerate that with your alternative news sources?

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t have much to offer you, other than A Love Of A Lifetime. At ONLY $19.95, you can try to shop around, but NOBODY will beat that price. But if you act before February 14th, you’ll get this incredible deal at Buy One, Get One FREE!

2019/02/112019/02/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: romantic

As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

Like this:

I love coffee like I love love, but only one of them I’m offering FREE refills on. Both will wake up your mind, but only my love will also wake up your heart.

Like this:

My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

If you were to write the most romantic piece of literature imaginable, it would look exactly like our tax code. All eight trillion pages.

Like this:

Our love doesn’t belong to me, and our love doesn’t belong to you. Our love belongs to The Future.

Like this:

We live in a world of fake money, fake food, fake news, fake history, fake space, fake reasons to go to war, and fake genders, but you think the love you swiped right on is real? Well, I’ll leave you that delusion, because at least it was FREE.

Like this:

I’ve written a whole forest’s worth of Love Poetry for you, and not a single tree was chopped down to complete this Library of The Heart.

Like this:

A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

Like this:

Would you accept True Love that was mostly true, say about 80%? Probably not, right? Well, why do you tolerate that with your alternative news sources?

Like this:

I don’t have much to offer you, other than A Love Of A Lifetime. At ONLY $19.95, you can try to shop around, but NOBODY will beat that price. But if you act before February 14th, you’ll get this incredible deal at Buy One, Get One FREE!

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