I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only food shortage we’ll have here at BearPaw Duck Farm is Dennis Hopper, the dwarf duck who hops around on a leg that’s so bum I mistook it for Nick Nolte in “Down and Out in Beverly Hills.”

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you are what you eat, then my ducks are The Ozarks. That means my ducks are 100% Pure Romance.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Women may not appreciate how my conversational skills rise to the level of Chatbot Romance, but many small business owners reach out to me to try to hire me for customer service/seduction.

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: romance

I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.

Like this:

I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

Like this:

I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

Like this:

Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

Like this:

The only food shortage we’ll have here at BearPaw Duck Farm is Dennis Hopper, the dwarf duck who hops around on a leg that’s so bum I mistook it for Nick Nolte in “Down and Out in Beverly Hills.”

Like this:

If you are what you eat, then my ducks are The Ozarks. That means my ducks are 100% Pure Romance.

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Women may not appreciate how my conversational skills rise to the level of Chatbot Romance, but many small business owners reach out to me to try to hire me for customer service/seduction.

Like this:

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