If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?

2022/02/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.

2021/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

2021/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

2021/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I am The Helen Keller of Love. I can’t see or hear it coming, and I know whether love is blind or if it’s just deaf in the eyes, because I write romance poetry in Braille.

2021/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I like my breakfast burritos at 7 PM, because I get out of bed 60 minutes earlier—and a full twelve hours before lazy roosters wake up. Do you slumber at midnight? What are you doing sleeping your life away?

2021/03/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.

2021/02/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: romance

If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?

Like this:

Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.

Like this:

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

Like this:

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

Like this:

I am The Helen Keller of Love. I can’t see or hear it coming, and I know whether love is blind or if it’s just deaf in the eyes, because I write romance poetry in Braille.

Like this:

I like my breakfast burritos at 7 PM, because I get out of bed 60 minutes earlier—and a full twelve hours before lazy roosters wake up. Do you slumber at midnight? What are you doing sleeping your life away?

Like this:

The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.

Like this:

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

Like this:

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

Like this:

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

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