She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Fellas, if your e-girl gets an OnlyFans account, the only way to prove that you love her is to continually give her more money than the other online guys trying to woo her with money. How much she loves you is a direct result of how much you pay her. Who said romance is dead?

2020/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Of all the ways to say I love you, saying it in Cupcake is the most romantic. Just don’t try to say I love you with a mouthful of strawberry I love you.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: romance

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

Like this:

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

Like this:

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

Like this:

Fellas, if your e-girl gets an OnlyFans account, the only way to prove that you love her is to continually give her more money than the other online guys trying to woo her with money. How much she loves you is a direct result of how much you pay her. Who said romance is dead?

Like this:

Of all the ways to say I love you, saying it in Cupcake is the most romantic. Just don’t try to say I love you with a mouthful of strawberry I love you.

Like this:

I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.

Like this:

I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

Like this:

I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

Like this:

Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

Like this:

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