The only thing better than me is you, except for me and you together, which is best of all. And I’m not being hyperbolic about my being third best. I have a trophy to prove it. I bought it from The Trophy Store for $19.95.

2019/08/162019/08/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The easiest way to get three people to agree on one thing is if those three people are all one person. That’s my kind of teamwork.

2019/08/142019/08/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Before a fire enters a house, it never asks itself, “Is the front door locked? Should I first knock?” And because it’s so rude, that’s why I never invite it to barbeques.

2019/08/062019/08/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It just so happens that my birthday is on a national holiday. I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me.

2019/08/052019/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once planted a garden of love in my heart, of which the flowers looked like roses mixed with butterflies, and I’m sad my feelings for you evaporated, because I could easily sell bouquets of our romance for $19.95.

2019/07/212019/07/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

2019/06/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

2019/04/152019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I love coffee like I love love, but only one of them I’m offering FREE refills on. Both will wake up your mind, but only my love will also wake up your heart.

2019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Finding old pictures is like discovering slivers of your heart, emotions preserved in thin slices that you can use to make a Nostalgia Sandwich.

2019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: romance

The only thing better than me is you, except for me and you together, which is best of all. And I’m not being hyperbolic about my being third best. I have a trophy to prove it. I bought it from The Trophy Store for $19.95.

Like this:

The easiest way to get three people to agree on one thing is if those three people are all one person. That’s my kind of teamwork.

Like this:

Before a fire enters a house, it never asks itself, “Is the front door locked? Should I first knock?” And because it’s so rude, that’s why I never invite it to barbeques.

Like this:

It just so happens that my birthday is on a national holiday. I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me.

Like this:

I once planted a garden of love in my heart, of which the flowers looked like roses mixed with butterflies, and I’m sad my feelings for you evaporated, because I could easily sell bouquets of our romance for $19.95.

Like this:

I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

Like this:

As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.

Like this:

I love coffee like I love love, but only one of them I’m offering FREE refills on. Both will wake up your mind, but only my love will also wake up your heart.

Like this:

Finding old pictures is like discovering slivers of your heart, emotions preserved in thin slices that you can use to make a Nostalgia Sandwich.

Like this:

My #BreathFilledAndFueled Candle Flames are 100% H2O proof. This incredible, inflatable, waterproof fire also comes in hat-shapes, and makes a great toupee for your balding redheaded lover, because that particular model is Ron Howard scented, and can be yours for ONLY $19.95.

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