While Whites sat around complaining about our collapsed COVID economy, blacks went out and picked up hammers and bricks and got to work doing what they do best—building America. And they generously worked for FREE, so I think it’s fair that Trump pays them 500 BILLION dollars.

2020/09/282020/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-19

Are you a Never Forget or an Always Remember kind of person? I’m somewhere in the middle, like Kansas. I mean, I’m not there now, but I would be, if I weren’t stuck in a Time Mobius Trap I foolishly set to spring open on myself in the year 2019, on Nov 12th at exactly 3:33 PM.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-13

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Sure, the retail apocalypse has decimated our consumer economy, but you can always find work at The Whisper Factory. If you see something suspicious like somebody not watching TV, turn them in and get PAID! Report your grandma and get a BONUS!

2019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-17

Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

2019/03/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When I talk about Florida, I don’t abbreviate by calling it Flo, so of course I refer to Amazon Go by its full name: Amazon Gonorrhea.

2019/01/172019/01/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-23

Sell your hope and buy prudence. I won’t buy the former from you, but I do have some of the latter for you to buy, and if you act within the next fifteen minutes I’ll even throw in some FREE cynicism.

2018/03/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Of all the things you have to sell, you should NEVER sell your love. No, you should offer it FOR LEASE. Ask me about my Romance Special that is customized just for you.

2017/12/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy24

Sears has a future—but only if you are living in the past.

2017/05/172017/05/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

As a company, is @Sears done? If it were a hamburger, it would be as chewy as charcoal, which is healthier than anything from @McDonalds.

— Senator Jarod Kintz (@JarodKintz1) May 17, 2017

But what do current employees have to say about working there?

Can’t wait for the day I work at Sears and I don’t get asked if we’re closing

— Kelli McQueeny (@kmcqueeny) April 30, 2017

I work at Sears The media is saying that Sears is done. Sears is saying don’t believe the media. Store is empty right now. Believe The Media pic.twitter.com/Ix5c23zMlJ

— Joyce Davis (@Thenovelist69) March 23, 2017

i work at sears right this man just came in and he got blood all on his neck 😂😂😂

— JOJOBABY (@1jojobaby) January 7, 2017

I think the last tweet about sums up the situation at Sears.

Tag: retail apocalypse

While Whites sat around complaining about our collapsed COVID economy, blacks went out and picked up hammers and bricks and got to work doing what they do best—building America. And they generously worked for FREE, so I think it’s fair that Trump pays them 500 BILLION dollars.

Like this:

Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

Like this:

Are you a Never Forget or an Always Remember kind of person? I’m somewhere in the middle, like Kansas. I mean, I’m not there now, but I would be, if I weren’t stuck in a Time Mobius Trap I foolishly set to spring open on myself in the year 2019, on Nov 12th at exactly 3:33 PM.

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

Sure, the retail apocalypse has decimated our consumer economy, but you can always find work at The Whisper Factory. If you see something suspicious like somebody not watching TV, turn them in and get PAID! Report your grandma and get a BONUS!

Like this:

Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

Like this:

When I talk about Florida, I don’t abbreviate by calling it Flo, so of course I refer to Amazon Go by its full name: Amazon Gonorrhea.

Like this:

Sell your hope and buy prudence. I won’t buy the former from you, but I do have some of the latter for you to buy, and if you act within the next fifteen minutes I’ll even throw in some FREE cynicism.

Like this:

Of all the things you have to sell, you should NEVER sell your love. No, you should offer it FOR LEASE. Ask me about my Romance Special that is customized just for you.

Like this:

Sears has a future—but only if you are living in the past.

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