When you buy a dozen eggs from BearPaw Duck Farm, you get the first egg FREE, and the next eleven, maybe. I would give them to you now, but my Quacking Egg Factories make the eggs FRESH, not made to order.

2020/08/252020/08/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever told a joke with a punch line so naughty you have to whisper it? I did that today, only I shouted the ending, because with Forced Social Distancing, by the time my voice traveled and endured over the air to the receiving ear, it may have been nearly inaudible.

2020/04/022020/04/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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We had a love that could light the night sky with pastels like we were the sunrise, but we don’t have that anymore. I’m the only one who has our love now, but I keep it safe in my heart just in case you ever come back for it.

2018/12/252018/12/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Rose Heart yearns for your gentle gardener’s hands.

2018/12/122018/12/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I keep our love close to my heart, and I keep it cold so we can reheat it in the future, when you are ready for Pure Romance.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My favorite color is Teddy Bear, and perhaps the fact that I wear this exact tuxedo when I compete is why I am the undefeated and undisputed World Cuddling Champion. Actually, there was once a minor dispute, but that issue got resolved with a mere $20 bribe.

2018/08/312018/08/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m sorry, Ryan Gosling, but Lillie Hobbs is dancing wif me tonight. Better luck never.

2018/08/282018/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: relationship

When you buy a dozen eggs from BearPaw Duck Farm, you get the first egg FREE, and the next eleven, maybe. I would give them to you now, but my Quacking Egg Factories make the eggs FRESH, not made to order.

Like this:

I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.

Like this:

If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

Like this:

We had a love that could light the night sky with pastels like we were the sunrise, but we don’t have that anymore. I’m the only one who has our love now, but I keep it safe in my heart just in case you ever come back for it.

Like this:

My Rose Heart yearns for your gentle gardener’s hands.

Like this:

I keep our love close to my heart, and I keep it cold so we can reheat it in the future, when you are ready for Pure Romance.

Like this:

My favorite color is Teddy Bear, and perhaps the fact that I wear this exact tuxedo when I compete is why I am the undefeated and undisputed World Cuddling Champion. Actually, there was once a minor dispute, but that issue got resolved with a mere $20 bribe.

Like this:

I’m sorry, Ryan Gosling, but Lillie Hobbs is dancing wif me tonight. Better luck never.

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