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Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Are lollipops suckers? Are Trump VOTERS lollipops? Yes and yes!

2020/10/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once lost a debate. It only took me two black eyes and a bloody nose to realize the other guy’s argument was more powerful.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some cinematic epics are immortalized in memory, and this GIF meme is one such masterpiece. I hope this theatrical release is well-received by both film critics and duck buyers.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Nine out of ten dentists recommend this deal. The tenth dentist is now toothless, and my knuckles are still raw and bruised.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who hasn’t been there before, am I right? And since you have been there, can you give me the address? I’ve always wanted to cuddle with a pink cat.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Who is going to win this year’s Super Bowl? I don’t know, because rather than waste my time watching The NFL, I’d rather watch other scripted TV programs.
  • Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.
  • Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!
  • Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.
  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
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