Skip to content

Love now, not later. Also, love later.

  • Contact Me
  • About
  • My Books On Amazon

Tag: product

Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-17

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-11

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-6

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-31

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

The point of modeling is to increase the visibility of the clothing being showcased, so why hire beautiful people who only distract from the product? Why not hire me at 50% the cost, and a 100% increase in transparency?

2019/01/202019/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-27

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

The best part about offering an inferior product FOR SALE, is the satisfaction I get from knowing I’m saving people money. That’s the kind of thing that builds lasting business relationships.

2019/01/092019/01/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-14

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-8

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

If you’re going to buy something, you may as well buy anything, and THIS amazing product FOR SALE is anything for anybody, even if, and especially if, you have a yellow smiley face for a head. These yellow gloves will really bring out your emoji.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy10

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I should combine my Dancing In A Box with a Music Box, and toss in some FREE shoes, so my potential customers and students have no excuse for not buying. My product is made in a sweatshop, a sauna, unlike Nike, which uses child labor in a sweatshop.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy8

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Well, the marketing campaign for #DancingLessonsInABottle has begun! Now I’m just waiting on my very first sale! And if I can get Dr. @Obambulator to recommend it to all his geriatric patients, I’ll be RICH!

2018/02/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy11

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Posts navigation

Older posts

tag cloud

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Join 596 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this:
      %d bloggers like this:
        %d bloggers like this:
          %d bloggers like this:
            %d bloggers like this:
              %d bloggers like this:
                %d bloggers like this:
                  %d bloggers like this:
                    %d bloggers like this:
                      %d bloggers like this:
                        %d bloggers like this: