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Tag: price

It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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TODAY is the last day to take a tour of BearPaw Duck Farm—until TOMORROW. The ticket price today is $19.95, but with the way The Federal Reserve is printing fake money, tomorrow it may cost you ONE TRILLION DOLLARS. Just ask 2005 Zimbabwe.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Ask me about my Tuesday Special. Or don’t, because I’ll just tell you. My SALE runs from Wednesday to Monday, which makes Tuesday special because you pay FULL PRICE!

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I were a Bankster dad, I’d tell my boy to go out into the world and make money. But not with a digital printing press, because that’s neither honest nor money. In fact, that kind of business will eventually get you killed by a starving mob.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A uniform is a costume, and a $9/hour security guard might as well be wearing a Mickey Mouse outfit.

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my Warehouse of Romance I specialize in selling only two precious items: Love and Leftover Meatloaf. Both are vintage 1980s, so get them while they’re still cold.

2019/09/262019/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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These days, robots will do everything. They’ll do your job, they’ll take your paycheck, and they’ll even make love to you, for a price, which of course you can’t afford because a robot stole your income.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.
  • They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.
  • Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.
  • It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!
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