Businesses will raise the price of the goods and services they sell in real time to keep pace with inflation, but what about the pay of their employees? If they’re going to keep you standing around waiting, I say you might as well stand idly while you’re on your employer’s clock.
It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
TODAY is the last day to take a tour of BearPaw Duck Farm—until TOMORROW. The ticket price today is $19.95, but with the way The Federal Reserve is printing fake money, tomorrow it may cost you ONE TRILLION DOLLARS. Just ask 2005 Zimbabwe.
Ask me about my Tuesday Special. Or don’t, because I’ll just tell you. My SALE runs from Wednesday to Monday, which makes Tuesday special because you pay FULL PRICE!
I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!
And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.
If I were a Bankster dad, I’d tell my boy to go out into the world and make money. But not with a digital printing press, because that’s neither honest nor money. In fact, that kind of business will eventually get you killed by a starving mob.
A uniform is a costume, and a $9/hour security guard might as well be wearing a Mickey Mouse outfit.
In my Warehouse of Romance I specialize in selling only two precious items: Love and Leftover Meatloaf. Both are vintage 1980s, so get them while they’re still cold.