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Tag: powerful

If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).

2022/11/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once lost a debate. It only took me two black eyes and a bloody nose to realize the other guy’s argument was more powerful.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite part of The Art of War are all the commas. I mean, I guess that’s my favorite part, because I had my pet monkey read the book for me and summarize it using banana analogies.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You don’t have to have lightning bolts for veins to realize that April in The Ozarks makes you smell powerful. That’s because I took Machiavelli’s complete works and condensed it into a cleansing fragrance.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m sorry I crashed the local economy when my passionate heart took down Branson’s power grid, but I’m not sorry for loving you with such ferocious magnitude.

2018/11/302018/11/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
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