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Tag: power

The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once lost a debate. It only took me two black eyes and a bloody nose to realize the other guy’s argument was more powerful.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The People are correct when they say The Government is the answer. Too bad they get the question wrong. The correct question that matches that answer is: Who should you listen to if you want to go to hell?

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What I love most about power is that it’s so powerless it can be overcome and overthrown through voting. If we all just turn in enough slips of paper, they will turn over all their guns and stop their violence.

2020/02/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite part of The Art of War are all the commas. I mean, I guess that’s my favorite part, because I had my pet monkey read the book for me and summarize it using banana analogies.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You don’t have to have lightning bolts for veins to realize that April in The Ozarks makes you smell powerful. That’s because I took Machiavelli’s complete works and condensed it into a cleansing fragrance.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only voting I do is with my wallet. When I buy This, I’m voting against That and vice reversa. That’s the only real political power we have.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to think alligators were reptiles until I found out about guys like Henry Kissinger, Trump and Putin’s handler, and now I see that alligators are human by comparison. Though Kissinger has Kiss in his name, there is no love in him.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Now that the 2020 election is hyping up, after the endless corruption and societal decay due to corporations controlling politics, I’m beyond mocking people too stupid to see that the only voting that counts is how you spend your money.

2019/10/012019/10/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why save for tomorrow when you might not exist then—and neither will the current purchasing power of your fiat currency? By taking away our hope for the future, The Banksters try to spur consumerism today.

2019/09/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
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  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
  • Do you enjoy being out in nature? By 2030, when you’re living in your 20 by 30 cement stacked box in the city, you’ll probably be able to rent walks in the park for ONLY $19.95 per month.
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