Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-34

The future is NOW. Well, it will be, in just one second. If you’re patient, I think you’ll find it’s worth the wait. You’ve gotta see how far we’ve come as a society! It’s beautiful here!

2019/03/132019/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Forget murderers, rapists, and traitors. I’m glad Donald Trump’s Department of Justice is going after the truly evil people, like mothers who want their kids to get into good universities and are willing to pay for it.

2019/03/132019/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best way to Make America Great Again is to make war. Thank God we have Trump as President, because if Hillary had been selected, we’d have gotten war.

2019/02/022019/02/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When people ask me who I voted for, I always say, “Mom and Pop!” That’s because I believe in voting with my wallet, so as much as possible I shop local over global.

2019/01/252019/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

2018/12/302018/12/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m sorry I crashed the local economy when my passionate heart took down Branson’s power grid, but I’m not sorry for loving you with such ferocious magnitude.

2018/11/302018/11/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A sports stadium is a portal of sorts, because it sucks the passion and creative energy out of all the people and channels it straight to hell, where wasted talent is joyously cheered, because the devil would rather us squander our life force than turn our power against him.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a very serious person. You can tell because I make futuristic suggestions like, “Instead of gasoline, cars should be fueled by dancing.” In that future, if you want to slow your car down, you’d just turn down the volume knob on your stereo.

2017/12/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Watch TV and believe. This is all you need to do to be the ideal citizen, from the government’s perspective.

2017/10/202017/10/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: power

Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

Like this:

The future is NOW. Well, it will be, in just one second. If you’re patient, I think you’ll find it’s worth the wait. You’ve gotta see how far we’ve come as a society! It’s beautiful here!

Like this:

Forget murderers, rapists, and traitors. I’m glad Donald Trump’s Department of Justice is going after the truly evil people, like mothers who want their kids to get into good universities and are willing to pay for it.

Like this:

The best way to Make America Great Again is to make war. Thank God we have Trump as President, because if Hillary had been selected, we’d have gotten war.

Like this:

When people ask me who I voted for, I always say, “Mom and Pop!” That’s because I believe in voting with my wallet, so as much as possible I shop local over global.

Like this:

There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

Like this:

I’m sorry I crashed the local economy when my passionate heart took down Branson’s power grid, but I’m not sorry for loving you with such ferocious magnitude.

Like this:

A sports stadium is a portal of sorts, because it sucks the passion and creative energy out of all the people and channels it straight to hell, where wasted talent is joyously cheered, because the devil would rather us squander our life force than turn our power against him.

Like this:

I’m a very serious person. You can tell because I make futuristic suggestions like, “Instead of gasoline, cars should be fueled by dancing.” In that future, if you want to slow your car down, you’d just turn down the volume knob on your stereo.

Like this:

Watch TV and believe. This is all you need to do to be the ideal citizen, from the government’s perspective.

Like this:

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