Gravy is my favorite sports drink. Try chugging it the next time you run so far your legs feel like mashed potatoes.

2020/09/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

As Americans, we can VOTE our way to FREEDOM. After all, that’s how our Founding Fathers gained Independence from England in 1776.

2020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only way to change oppression in society is to VOTE. If you’ll recall, that’s how America gained its Independence from England in 1776. If our brave Founding Fathers hadn’t VOTED their way to FREEDOM, we’d all still be speaking English.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.

2020/06/232020/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If criminals are making our laws, and never get arrested for even murder or treason, while our prisons are for-profit and filled with slave labor, whom do the police really serve and protect?

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What do you get when the government shuts down the economy, closes meat-processing plants, and destroys fruits, vegetables, and milk in mass? One more reason to put on your red MAGA hat and VOTE for FREEDOM!

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: politics

Gravy is my favorite sports drink. Try chugging it the next time you run so far your legs feel like mashed potatoes.

Like this:

The best way to watch sports is while reading a book with the TV off. Start with The Bible.

Like this:

I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

Like this:

As Americans, we can VOTE our way to FREEDOM. After all, that’s how our Founding Fathers gained Independence from England in 1776.

Like this:

The only way to change oppression in society is to VOTE. If you’ll recall, that’s how America gained its Independence from England in 1776. If our brave Founding Fathers hadn’t VOTED their way to FREEDOM, we’d all still be speaking English.

Like this:

My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.

Like this:

I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.

Like this:

If criminals are making our laws, and never get arrested for even murder or treason, while our prisons are for-profit and filled with slave labor, whom do the police really serve and protect?

Like this:

What do you get when the government shuts down the economy, closes meat-processing plants, and destroys fruits, vegetables, and milk in mass? One more reason to put on your red MAGA hat and VOTE for FREEDOM!

Like this:

The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

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