I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.
Tag: politician
I can’t tell a politician to go fuck himself without a Conservative saying that’s offensive language that has no place in civilized society. Oh, so profanity is beyond the moral limit, but fraudulent war and unborn baby murder is cool?
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I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.
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To be a good shopper, you must spend as little money as possible to get as much quantity and quality as possible, but to be a great shopper, you must spend other people’s money. Next time you’re in a store, think like a politician.
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I was recently crowned Salesman of The Century. It’s a one-hundred-year honor that I was able to obtain for $44.44 at my local Trophy Store.
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America’s biggest export is war, which means we switched from making widgets to manufacturing death, so it’s not surprising that McDonald’s tastes like a coffin.
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The thing I like most about politicians is the, um, the thing that, um, well, hmmm the, uh, the whatchacallit, the, um, um, well, I don’t know, but surely there must be a thing, just one thing to like about politicians.
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If you buy a politician, do you get FREE refills for life? What about if you rent the crook?
